Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid could have been the perfect Saturday-night SyFy movie. It had what its title promised: mega-sized pythons and gigantic alligators, eating people and each other. It had this genre’s requisite washed-up star-power in ’80s pop singers Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Gibson played a radical animal-rights activist. Tiffany portrayed a park ranger with her uniform sufficiently unbuttoned to reveal that she may have been trying to smuggle newborn twins into the Everglades. The horror started out promisingly in the opening moments, when a python ate a dog and then vomited out the remains. So far, so good.
Unfortunately, Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid did something that other stalwarts of this genre, such as Sharktopus and Dinocroc Vs. Supergator, did not do: It called attention to how bad, campy, and trashy it was; the actors did everything except wink coyly at the camera. This is bad, because the key to enjoying these junky films is for us to be able to laugh at how ludicrous they are, while everyone in the film itself is behaving as though real lives are at stake, that real danger is at hand.
You had to have high hopes early on when Tiffany’s boyfriend kissed her while a bunch of backwoods Everglades yokels shouted things like, “Kiss her like a man — put yer tongue down her throat!” But pretty soon, people were bidding goodbye to each other by saying, “Later, ‘gator,” and Tiffany was feeding super-steroid-filled chickens to alligators and then shouting way too self-consciously, “There’s nothing crazy about this! What could go wrong?”
Even worse, Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid had an actual subtext: The ’80s manufactured “feud” between Gibson and Tiffany was worked into the plot here by pitting Gibson’s animal activist against Tiffany’s I-hate-activists ranger. By the time the two got into a rolling-around, hair-pulling cat-fight that was set at a party rather than among pythons and gators, the movie had lost its sense of purpose.
True, the terrible special-effects that made the pythons and gators huge were awesome.
And true, it was great to see old Kathryn Joosten, from Desperate Housewives and The West Wing, playing a park ranger who got chomped by a creature while shooting her ranger-pistol.
And yes, I did enjoy seeing former Monkee Micky Dolenz get the smirk bitten off of him by a monster. And hearing a puffy-looking A Martinez warn citizens of “a gator of literally massive proportions!”
What I didn’t like was arch dialogue such, “So this is how a Monkee is going to save the Everglades!” and Tiffany saying to Gibson, “You crazy, cold blooded, snake-loving bitch!”
That’s the kind of stuff we like to yell at our TV screens. When they do it, it just seems goofy. I didn’t tune in to Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid to watch Tiffany and Debbie Gibson try to revive their careers by proving how knowing and ironic they are; I just wanted to see some weirdly bad monsters and the kind of obliviously awful but sincere acting Eric Roberts did in Sharktopus.
Too bad; better trash next time, SyFy. This was just okay, and ultimately, a disappointment.
Agree? Disagree?
Twitter: @kentucker
This has got to be one of the top comedy movies this year.
Was that really the name of the movie company on the blimp?? AMAZING! also I like how they went from driving in the car to airborn in the cropduster in less than ten seconds.
It’s like this movie is a Dirty Sanchez and I am fecalophiliac; it smells so bad but for some reason I love what an atrocity it is!
My favorite- “Everyone with a weapon, get it out” and EVERYONE at the formal fundraiser in the Florida Everglades pulls out a handgun.
I thought it was Texas that had all the handguns, but I got to admit that was pretty darn funny to watch everyone whip out a gun & start shooting
That killed me!!
It was pretty awful, and I’m usually a fan of these cheesy SyFy movies. But this one didn’t even have any appeal, sorry Tiffany & Debbie, you gals really are washed up and over the hill former stars. I couldn’t wait for both of them to get munched to bits & pieces, but as I said, it was so awful, I couldn’t even enjoy that.
Thumbs down to a truly stupid, and totally useless movie.
Wow maryjane,,,or should I call you Debbie Down – you sound like a real you know what – to call someone washed up = maybe you should smoke some of that Mary Jane and relax alittle – are you over the hill, have you had sucess in a career? Are you washed up, I think both of these girls are talented and still are – maybe you should do some research…
Good review Ken! made my day
My husband (who had no interest but watched with me anyway) and I had a big bucket of popcorn ready for two hours of camp. I haven’t laughed this hard since Wednesday night’s episode of Cougar Town. I go into SyFy movies with low expectations anyway, and I was completely entertained for 2 hours; the manufactured feud, bad effects, horrible dialogue, all of it. My favorite moment was watching the actor standing behind Mickey Dolenz who couldn’t even be bothered to act interested.
I agree. I LOVED it. I loved it for knowing it was campy over the top wink wink to the audience. I disagree with Ken when he says that I wanted a SyFy movie where the actors don’t know they are that bad. I want the actors to “get it” along with the audience. I actually laughed out loud and really enjoyed this movie.
I had a great night laughing my butt off at this movie. It was dumb, cheesy, and bad. Soooo bad, it was good! No one was going for any awards. It was just campy fun. Loved all the inside jokes/nods to Debbie and Tiffany’s careers. So fun. Lighten up people. It was met to be dumb, cheesy, and campy! Oh and what about their deaths! ha ha ha classic!
I think everyone knows it’s meant to be campy. What Ken is saying is that the movie was too self-aware to be in the so-bad-it’s-good category.
Yea, sounds like Matt can’t read.
i loved the movie and it was so bad it was good. LOL i love tiffany and debbie since childhood so it was good to the them both. otherwise i wouldnt have watched
san jose,ca
I love this movie and then I laugh. I was sad at the end. My idol was eaten up. Well both. Then I laugh again. SyFy produced some good campy and B-films movies. Who’s next? Simon Cowell!! I love to see him in a campy b-film movie!
Awww…What’s with all the hate? It’s not like we watch this kind of stuff expecting something deep and profound. It had all the great qualities of a classic: Both Tiffany AND Debbie Gibson (all that was missing was Lorenzo Lamas), the not so subtle dialogue references to their music, cringe worthy CGI, the list goes on. I actually appreciated how the movie knew it was campy. I loved the blimp with the ‘Asylum’ logo getting bit and spurtting around the air with a mega python attached. CLASSIC!!!!!!
Loved this Movie. I thought there would be a point where I would change the channel but that never happened. From everything that is going on in the world its great to turn to Sy-Fy and have a great laugh.
Thank You Debbie and Tiffany, and Thank You Sy-Fy.
I actually have to whole-heartedly disagree with Ken. Because the actors in other Syfy movies act as if they’re in the next great monster movie, the films themselves come across as over-reaching and forced. However, the fact that the actors played up the camp in this one made it all the funnier. I literally laughed our loud a dozen times during this because of the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Well done, Syfy!
This!
Yes, this! And Debbie G and Tiffany will never be ‘washed up’… A little damp maybe, a tad wet but never washed up!
I actually liked it as a comedy!
I usually love these low budget sci-fi/monster/disaster movies. This was a definite exception. Debbie was really bad… but Tiffany was the absolute worst! She did another sci-fi a short time ago, and was equally as out of shape, unattractive, an just plain unconvincing. She tried the entire movie to save her role with low cut blouses, but it was never gonna work. These girls need to give up hoping for a comeback, and just be thankful to have ever had celeb status.
i disagree with you completely. they both KNEW wat they were getting into: a low budget movie no one will take seriously but will be nonetheless entertaining and fun. they already knew this my friend. they already knew it isnt a serious acting gig. they both were sexy 4 their age anyway. not unattractive or outta shape as you stated. remember they are in their 40s. and having fun. not trying for a comeback. they still both entertain. thats wat they do. so dont be so negative. cheer up you’ll be ok
I love the death scenes in these movies. LMAO every single time. This movie was much like an accident scene: you want to look away but you just can’t help but watch. ITA with Ken though they were too self-aware.
tiffany twins were great lot of action! but the movie flushed!
This movie was soo bad that its good..if you like campy over the top acting..you’ll love it!
The problem with these movies is that they have become a product targeted to a very specific audience,us,people that have a soft spot or a perverse liking of bad movies.These movies lack the soul and maybe the misguided earnestness of a truly good bad movie.These movies are conceived and produced with the specific intent of being bad and campy with an addition of ‘nostalgia’ to cap it off.It’s quite insulting if you stop and think about it.
seriously entertainment weekly?! what exactly were you expecting?? this movie was perfectly entertaining, campy, and gave the fans exactly what they wanted. obviously no one here was vying for an oscar. calm down.
My post said just the opposite: No expectations of “vying for an Oscar,” as you say–instead, I said, “the key to enjoying these junky films is for us to be able to laugh at how ludicrous they are”; this one didn’t make me laugh at its camp, that’s all.