No Easy Decision, MTV’s special spun off from 16 and Pregnant, followed Markai Durham as she came to the agonizing conclusion to have an abortion. Read the full post.
Dec 29
2010
12:04 AM ET
'No Easy Decision' review: Abortion was the focus of MTV's '16 and Pregnant' special
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I realize that this is a hot topic and I say this with a lot of love. Please,please before you have an abortion consider giving your baby to someone who would love it dearly. I am unable to have children and it breaks my heart knowing that “my” baby could be out there somewhere if only it was given the chance to live. It’s not a “ball of cells” look up the facts. By they time you take a pregnancy test your ” ball of cells has a little heart beat and can do all sorts of things. I’m not just judging,just pleading. I want a baby so bad I literally ache some times.
I am sorry you can’t have children, but have you thought of foster adoption or foreign adoption if local adoption isn’t working? My friends who did that were so happy to add kids to their family that way! You can actually take a pregnancy test 10 days after conception, and at that time the zygote (clinical term) is still implanting, and differentiating its cells into the placenta, neural system, and other systems. It doesn’t have a defined circulatory or neurological system yet- although I would agree it has the potential. I am just concerned that by saying you know “my” baby may be out there- you treat pregnant teens/women as breeding machines. I get that YOU want a baby, but unfortunately, it really isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to carry one to term for you. It would be a gift- but not a responsibility or obligation of a teen to provide an infertile mother with a baby. If the govt EVER required that- now THAT is what I would call govt interference in our lives at the highest level.
But if there are teens and women who get pregnant and don’t want the baby why not give the baby to someone like Steph who does want the baby instead of killing it?
I’m all for teens getting the support they need to carry a baby to term and go the adoption route if it is their choice to do so- I personally would feel better with that choice myself. But I think teens should be able to make the decision to go through with a pregnancy or an abortion with education and support, but without pressure from either side. Ultimately they have to live with the ramifications, so they should get to choose.
@rachel — I think that’s very sensible.
Steph, I’m sorry you can’t have kids. It must be hard to deal with. However, I would suggest that instead of hassling pro-choice people (because your inability to have children is entirely not their fault), you look into foreign or foster adoption. There really are so many kids, of all ages, waiting to be adopted by someone like you. Just because said child isn’t a brand-new baby, doesn’t mean you can’t love him or her.
I’m Anti Abortion,PROLife,Pro Adoption~and if I had been given the choice I would have carried my child and given him up for adoptio,rather than had an abortion
that in my opinion “Killed me inside emotionally for the rest of my life” and what makes it even harder is that I never had children when I got married.
For 38 years I’ve cried,and I don’t know if I’m ever going to stop.My parents decided my child’s fate,I didn’t,cause they felt “Oh,she’ll have the abortion and then she’ll forget about it”
Boy were they wrong. Both are dead now,and I can’t tell them my feelings,they screwed me up and never even thought about it,all they cared about was how they didn’t have to be embarrased by me.
Strange thing is this,you see they adopted me at the age of 1 month,cause my natural mom couldn’t keep me/raise me~and my natural mom 8 years later gave up my baby sister.Both of us became pregnant at 18~but her adoptive parents let her have her child.
If I had a daughter who told me she was expecting,I would ask her what she wanted to do-then we would take things from there,but I would caution her “You have to make sure you can live with the emotional scars of aborting a life,if you can’t do that then I would help her find a reputible adoption agency and give the baby,,
to a loving family who would raise
her child/my grandchild”
Adoption is so different today than it was when I and my sister were adopted,back then the records
were sealed by the courts. Today there are things called “open adoptions where both parties can have communication with the birthmom and let her know how her child is doing”
You Do know that Adoption is a good Idea but is also hard for all parties involved. there are a lot of hard feelings that the adopted child feels growing up like not feeling like they ever fit in & not know who they really are . yea they feel loved but the ? are always there when u find out or know that u are adopted. & then the adopted Parents have it rough 2 exceptionally if that child wants 2 look for their birth parents cause then they feel that they didn’t do a good enough job.which they did. its a catch 22
But at least they get to LIVE! I’m sure that there are many dealing with the issues you stated, but I still don’t think they would wish to have been aborted. I believe that we are on this earth to learn and not everything is going to be easy because if it was we wouldn’t learn anything. Anybody can find an excuse as to why they don’t have the absolute perfect situation to bring a baby into this world but it is so sad that because of that many babies are killed.
I’ve known a lot of adopted people and none of them had any big issues. Some chose to seek out their adoptive parents and some didn’t but none of them had abandonement issues or anything but love for their adoptive parents. If anything they all appreciated their parents even more. I’m sure some people do have issues but it may have more to do with who they are personally than what their birth parents did.
This may have been mentioned before, I don’t know. But in case it hasn’t been, I’d like to bring it up. Sometimes, a woman just feels unable to handle a child, either emotionally or financially. A child deserves a loving, nice home, and if its mother feels she can’t provide that, then why go through with the pregnancy and give the baby a crappy life? And people will probably jump all over me, saying that if that’s the case she should give her baby up for adoption. Well, I think there are two reasons why that isn’t a perfect solution. First, thousands of children are never adopted, for whatever reason, and spend their childhoods at group homes, or in foster care. That’s obviously not a very pleasant experience. Second, it would probably be psychologically difficult for a woman to go through nine months of pregnancy, sheltering the baby inside her, and then give the baby away forever. Just my two cents.
The other thing is that, I think abortion is totally understandable in the case of rape. A child is a permanent reminder of that horrific experience, and while some women could probably overcome it, what about the women who can’t? It would be terrible to be that reminder…
Finally, I really like what Markai said about nobody being pro-abortion. I agree with that. I’m definitely pro-choice, though I also think abortion is a sad and difficult decision.
Susanna, I don’t know where you are getting your information, but there are not thousands of babies waiting to be adopted but rather thousands of parents waiting to adopt babies. As far as pregnancies due to rape, that happens less than 1% of the time due to the morning after pill and other preventative measurs. And even still, that baby is an innocent creation and not all women choose to abort because they do not want to kill a baby inside them. Either way, there’s a consequence for every choice. Wish more women would choose life or adoption for her baby.
@Sarah D — I didn’t say there were thousands of babies. There are thousands of KIDS, because as you say, people only seem to want to adopt babies. The acceptable babyhood window is very brief, and if a child isn’t adopted during that time it’s very unlikely they will be. Prospective parents don’t want a three-year-old, or a ten-year-old, or a teenager. So those older kids just linger…
And I know pregnancy after rape is rare. But it does occasionally happen.
The kids that are in foster care and waiting to be adopted are mainly the kids that have been taken out of homes due to the parents not taking good care of them for one reason or another, not because a teen mom gave them up as a baby and they were never adopted. A teen mom or any mom who finds herself pregnant has her pick from thousands of amazing parents just waiting for someone to choose them. The website itsaboutlove.org is just one of many sites of amazing couples waiting for someone to pick them.
All though I see all your views and respect them, the one thing no one has mentioned is abstinence you wouldn’t have to make hard decisions if you didn’t put yourself in that position
People have mentioned it, actually. While I see that it’s a valid point, that abstinence is the only 100% effective birth control and such, I just don’t think it’s realistic.
It seems that people are saying that every one is entitled to their opinion, but only as long as that opinion is that abortion is OK. If someone says they think it is wrong, they are told that they are wrong.
Here’s a poem from Markai and James’ baby:
O mama mama believe me, mama don’t ever try to deceive me
Can’t you feel the many tears I cry?
O mama mama receive me, mama don’t ever try to leave me
Cause I’m so young much too young to die.
I hear those people speaking words, I just don’t understand
But your heartbeat tells me something is wrong
I don’t know what you plan to do, or just how much I mean to you
But please remember I am me.
O mama mama believe me, mama don’t ever try to deceive me
Can’t you feel the many tears I cry?
O mama mama receive me, mama don’t ever try to leave me
Cause I’m so young much too young to die.
Just to see the sunshine, just to breathe the air
Would be so wonderful to be part of the world out there
But will I ever feel your arms, look up into your eyes
And tell me will you weep there when you’ve listened to their lies?
I know you didn’t want me, you didn’t plan it this way
But here I am, now doesn’t that change a thing?
If I could only talk to you, make you see my point of view,
O mama, can you hear me sing?
O mama mama believe me, mama don’t ever try to deceive me
Can’t you feel the many tears I cry?
O mama mama receive me, mama don’t every try to leave me
Cause I’m so young much too young to die.
I’m so young much too young to die.
I had 2 abortions in my life. I think it is the best thing I have ever done to myself. Why should I subject myself to 9 months of trauma and 6 more months of recovery period just to give the kid up for adoptiong? How can I ensure the kid will have loving parents?
This world is a very cruel and comeptitive place. If a woman is not ready to have kid, do NOT have kid. We women are not slaves to be dragged down by children. Men can run away from children, we can do the same and save ourselves from misery.
Футболки с рисунками и надписями.
Для тебя, для друзей, для всех.
Заходи, выбирай, покупай.
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