'No Easy Decision' review: Abortion was the focus of MTV's '16 and Pregnant' special

No Easy Decision, MTV’s special spun off from 16 and Pregnant, followed Markai Durham as she came to the agonizing conclusion to have an abortion. With a frankness rarely seen anywhere on television, No Easy Decision presented a vivid, unsparing look at something that’s not just an “issue” but a harrowing decision.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Markai said early on. Host Dr. Drew Pinsky said she and her boyfriend James considered three options: “Parenting, adoption, or abortion.” Markai phoned a women’s clinic counselor and received information about the differences between a medical and a surgical abortion. Markai’s voice broke as she asked her questions; she was in tears before the call was over.

“I never thought [abortion] would be an option for me,” she said.

Both Markai and James talked about struggles with providing a family with money and support. Economic factors played a big part in her decision. “We can’t take care of another baby. Abortion is the best choice for us.” The procedure was performed when Markai was six weeks pregnant.

She said that at the clinic it was suggested that she “think of it as a little ball of cells.” But afterward, she became angry — at James, and at herself — and racked with remorse. “Nothing but a bunch of cells can turn out to be her,” she said to James, pointing to their child Za’karia. No Easy Decision, in the space of a half hour, did a striking job of showing viewers a full range of thoughts and emotions, without a trace of MTV flash or, at the other extreme, timid solemnity.

Dr. Drew led a discussion with Markai and James afterward, as well as a later talk with two other young women who’d had abortions. Markai described the procedure, and said she still has “mixed emotions” about her decision, much of it “pressure” applied on women “by society.”

“No one is pro-abortion … but you have to do what’s right,” she concluded.

“I wouldn’t choose abortion as a first option for anyone, but it was the best decision for me,” she said. “I know I’ll make it through.”

The half hour told you its approach in its title: It is never an easy decision for a woman to have an abortion. No Easy Decision was an admirable production for the way it presented such a sensitive subject with as much thoroughness as it did.


Comments (745 total) Add your comment
Page: 1 2 3 15
  • Jessica

    i was 22 yrs old when i had an abortion, during the summer before i was about to start my senior year of college before I headed into medical school. it broke my heart to decide my decision and i praise you for being brave enough to show your’s on tv. i still regret my decision but realize that it was best, not only for me, but my future baby. it just wasn’t the right time for me and my boyfriend of 5 years.

    • coolrepublica

      Nothing makes me laugh harder than people trying to thread in their own crap. And your “I realize that it was best, not only for me, but my future baby” line was just precious. Listen I hate to break it to you but what you did was not best for your baby. It was definately best for you, but not your baby. You know what would have been best for the baby, giving it up to someone who would not have considered it a burden to their dream of being a doctor. But you chose to kill it and now you are trying to make excuses. Listen own up to the fact that your selfish needs came first and chose accordingly. Let’s not insult my intelligence.

      And no I am not religious. Not even close. I am just calling a spade a spade. In this case BS from Jessica.lol

      • Anna

        Your’s is an intelligence that requires insulting. Perhaps the baby of which Jessica speaks is the child of her future. Abortion isn’t for everyone, neither is adoption, and until you’ve walked that mile you’d do best to save your laughter and rapier wit to the cocktail party circuit.

      • jill

        Thank u!!!!!!! There are so many women who CANT EVER have children. If you have an abortion your going to have alot more emotional scares than u would if u choose adoption. At least with adoption u have the option to see that child grow if u want an open adoption. If u choose abortion u deny a women who isnt as lucky as u in having children the life long joy and dream of being a parent. DONT USE ABORTION AS A METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL!There are soooo many good people out there who would love to have have your child!

      • starbbycat

        no you arent just calling a spade a spade – if you were whats with the lol at the end of your piece?

      • Alexa

        “coolrepublica” I appreciate your opinion, but I find it almost laughable that you say “Let’s not insult my intelligence.” Clearly this young woman is using her education and brilliance to become a doctor, help other people, and save the lives of even fools like you. What have you used your “intelligence” for aside from judgment? Jessica will be a very well prepared mother when she is ready, I’m sorry your life didn’t turn out the way hers will. Find peace in your decisions, not resentment in the choices of others.
        Jessica: I commend you for choosing your education and your best interest. It is your choice and you made a good one. I’ve been waiting for MTV to present the other side of the story. Thank you.

      • Ashley

        @coolrepublica You have absolutely no right to judge Jessica so harshly and assume that she and her boyfriend chose abortion because of “selfishness”. You do not know this person, you have never walked in this persons shoes for a day so you can’t even imagine how she felt. I can bet you wouldn’t have said the same thing you just thoughtlessly typed on a computer to this woman. Please think before posting such unkind things. It is nothing to write “lol” about. According to the “No Easy Decision” program, 1 out of 3 women chose abortion. It is about time that they get respect any human deserves instead of condemnation from others.

      • jessica

        that was 5 years ago, and i would still choose the decision i choose. i now have 2 children and still believe that abortion is the right choice for people in certain situations. and to jill: clearly when i said “future baby”, i meant what it could have become. just because others have different views on situations than yourself, doesn’t mean they are wrong. It’s called an opinion for a reason. I commend Markai for making such a tough decision for what she believes is the right one for the child she has.

      • SweetHoney

        @Jill: Really? And whats to say that abortion was her primary meathod of birth control. She says herself that she was headed for med school, is it unthinkable that a smart girl had a condom break? Or that the birthcontrol didn’t work?
        BTW, who the hell are you to judge what had to be an incredibly difficult decision? And it’s not just “oh, some other parent wants your baby”. If you are able to do that, then of course it is the better option, for the unborn child. The one that has no thoughts or emotions yet. But, for the living breathing 22 year old girl, this would mean so many things, like the judgement of those (including family possibly) around her, the money it would nhave taken to have a child, which could have taken away money needed for school and living expenses, it could have delayed med school for this girl. You have no idea what the circumstances were (neither do I obviously, but still, at least I consider the possibilities.

      • Tami

        Well said!

      • Rutgers2011

        I couldn’t agree with you more. Someone had to say it.

      • BB

        You are an idiot. Until you walk in someone’s shoes do not judge.

      • Sydney

        THANK YOU! Abortion shouldn’t be a form of birth control! I’m sorry but it’s not a debatable matter, abortion is killing a baby. And to Jessica, I don’t care if you weren’t ready for a baby back then. But guess what? TOO BAD! It wasn’t the babys fault that is was conviced, so you shouldn’t punish your unborn child by killing it.

      • Mike

        While I half agree with both Jessica and coolrepublica, lets not talk about adoption like its a sure thing. When people give children up for adoption they like to think that their baby is going to be adopted by this golden, perfect couple but that’s not always the case. Lots of babies never get adopted and spend their lives as orphans. Is that really what’s best for them? What if the child is adopted by a couple that isn’t so nice and the child is abused? Is that really best for them?

      • red

        hey,nimrods. easier said than done.
        i had one and it was the best thing i could do for me. who r u to tell any one any thing.fyi i thought this was america. we have the freedom to do what we feel is best for us. grow up you negitive nancies.

      • Seriously

        I’m trying to understand why people think spewing vitriol will change a situation. Even if I don’t agree, I fail to see what mean-spirited judgement will do to change Jessica or Markai’s situation. This is exactly why people can no longer talk about politics and faith without things going awry. I agree that if I got pregnant with a baby outside of rape and incest, I would have it and likely keep it. However, I do not agree with bashing women who have made what must be an agonizing choice for most. Too many people are religious and not enough people are actually spiritual and in possession of COMPASSION these days.

      • Kirby Wantanabe

        Thank you. I thought that as well. Not so great for the cells you just had removed.

      • Danielle

        I too had an abortion 5 years ago. I was is a very rocky and abusive relationship and felt as if I had no support from my boyfriend in keeping my baby. I understand I ended a life and own up to it. I also suffer from nightmares, depression, and other side effects. What I don’t understand is how someone who has not gone through this can judge and be so hard? Living with this is hard enough with people thinking their short commings are better then mine. If I would of kept my child its life would not be good and giving it to another family may not have turned out great either. My child could of turned out like Jill or Coolrepublica. And FYI no uses abortion as a form of birth control.

      • Danielle

        Alexa, seriously, if her medical intelligence was so superior she would have known about that great invention called the birth control pill.

      • Someone should’ve aborted ANNA

        If we could only back in time and abort pro-lifers like Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck, imagine how much better the planet would be… just saying.lol

      • Truth

        Anti choice = pro reproductive slavery.
        Every woman has the right to decide, no matter what *your* personal beliefs are, when they have children. And @jill – not every baby is wanted out there. Not even close. If you really cared you’d support whatever decision made sure a child born is a child well cared for.

      • jk

        @Ashley – Sorry, no matter what you think of abortion, claiming that having one isn’t selfish is just wrong. Of course it’s selfish, it is always for the benefit of the mother (and sometimes also because the fetus will not be healthy at full term). Same to Jessica – no, your decision was not the best thing for your future baby because it never got a chance at life. I’m not going to begrudge your decision to have an abortion, but please be honest. How can you claim that preventing a fetus from growing to full term is GOOD for that fetus?

      • Eyeroll

        @coolrepupblica: My but aren’t we judgmental or maybe just mental. She made the decision she needed to make. If that would not be your choice then don’t make the same one. I very much doubt that you aren’t religious and imposing your views on someone else is immoral. It’s not the role of anybody to provide children to someone who can’t have a baby. Terminating a pregnancy in the early stages is not killing a baby but removing a mass of cells. Get over your self-righteousness.

      • Candacetx

        ummm… yeah, there such a looooooooooong line of folks wanting to adopt black babies. Let’s all be honest here – they all can’t wind up with Sandra Bullock. The liklihood is that they would grow up in the foster system and we all know how well those kids turn out.

        adoption isnt always an option, regardless of race, but we are lying to ourselves if we don’t believe that race plays a part.

    • jill

      Why didnt you let a women who couldnt have children have it?

      • Marina

        It’s not anyone else’s job to provide infertile women with babies. Women aren’t breeding machines.

      • Winona

        There are already thousands of children waiting for adoption – why clog up the system more?

      • Liz

        Natural selection, if you can’t produce your own child you aren’t meant to breed, or in this case parent. Get over it.

      • adoptive mom

        Jill, I wish all woman thought like you. Marina, Yes, it’s not anyone elses job, but if you find yourself pregnant and can’t keep the baby, why not give it to loving parents that can’t have a baby of their own. It would be the most unselfish thing you can ever do in your life. Teens and woman who do not use contraception do become “breeding machines”. Markai is a perfect example. If she still doesn’t use contraception, she will keep getting pregnant over and over. The only way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence or contraception. Winona, You are wrong. There are not thousands of babies waiting for adoption. We had to adopt from overseas 16 yrs ago because we couldn’t find a baby to adopt here in the states. Liz, That’s the most idiotic, mean spirited response I ever saw. I hope someday you can’t have children of your own and know what it’s like to yearn for a child and not being able to have one.

      • Courtney

        There are plenty of kids without parents in the country, not to mention the world. People don’t need to have their unwanted kids just so the infertile can have a healthy baby to adopt.

      • Ktct

        @adoptive mom: having worked for several years as a psychologist in the NYC foster care system, there are indeed thousands of children who need homes. There is no need to travel overseas.

      • Robin

        My husband was adopted by the ‘golden couple’ who couldn’t have their own children. He’s often said the scars of the horrible abuse they inflicted on him make him wish many times his teenage mother had chosen abortion. Just make note, that no decision is 100% right or wrong, its a difficult choice but it’s the woman’s to make not everyone elses.

      • Sally

        Easy- people want white babies, harsh but 100% true. Black babies just end up in the horible foster system.

      • Colleen

        Because it’s the choice of the woman who is pregnant, not anyone elses

      • Marissa

        @Liz…your comment was one of the most ignorant I’ve read on this board. Just because a woman cannot have a child does not mean she is not supposed to be a parent!!! I was an unwanted pregnancy and subsequently adopted by a wonderful couple who struggled for a decade with fertility problems. I know that not every adoption works out for the best (@Robin, I’m so sad to hear about what happened to your husband), but my adoptive parents are the best parents I could have ever asked for. I am forever grateful for the bravery of my birthparents for giving me the chance to live when they could have easily aborted me. Just because my adoptive mother couldn’t “breed” does not mean she should not have children simply because natural selection tells her that it’s just not in the biological cards for her. What a ridiculous statement.

    • jill

      future baby???? that baby is dead now….u dont get preg. with the same baby twice sweetheart.

      • Jonathon

        Dont be condescending now Jill. We can have a debate without it getting nasty.

      • Gus

        jill, i know reading is hard, but if you read carefully, you realize she meant a baby she hopes to have in the future.

      • Erica Dawn

        How do you know? Are you God? Only God knows for sure and only God knows what his plans are. Maybe for some people, abortion is part of his plans for us.

    • Scott Kelly

      youre a sick person. Youre still a Mother. Just a Mother of a dead baby.

      • Morgaine

        As a man you have no right to an opinion.

        Women are not breeding machines. If a woman decides she doesn’t want to be pregnant, that is her choice. You can’t know all the intricacies of her decisions. Jessica made the choice to have an abortion, and it was a valid choice. Women don’t just skip into an abortion clinic. It isn’t a lighthearted decision. Also no one has any right to anyone else’s child. Less than 1% of all pregnancies carried to term in the US are placed for adoption. If more woman were to carry their children to term, it wouldn’t necessarily mean a more readily available “supply” of babies for those who can’t have their own.

        Also, there are thousands of children who don’t have homes right now in the United States. However, they aren’t brand spanking newborns. So they sit in foster care, or institutions waiting for someone to adopt them, while any newborn has a line of people with their hands out saying “gimme gimme gimme”.

        Makes me sick.

      • Lily

        But she did get pregnant didn’t she? Not because she was a breeding machine but because she chose to by not taking proper precautions. If she didn’t want to get pregnant then she should read the box of birth control pills. No one forced her to get prego, she could have given him/her up for adoption.

      • Janey

        “As a man you have no right to an opinion.”

        Wow, way to go girl.. so much for spreading that equality we all want, huh? I agree with everything else that you said except for that one line.

      • Jonathon

        Nice display of sexism, Morgaine!

      • skip

        i’ve seen every excuse there is plus some. How can you look at a child and not see something wrong with abortion. There are plenty of people that have a child and go to school. Sorry for the inconvience, but a child is well worth it. So crazy how people spend vast amounts of time and money trying to save stray dog, but try to get them stand up and say killing a baby is wrong, and it’s not important to them. Some where down the line we’ve got confused about what’s important.

      • Danielle

        Morgaine, men help provide us with the children. More times than not they ARE irresponsible morons, however they still helped create the child. They DO have a say in what happens. For you to say otherwise is absolutely ignorant.

      • u

        @skip:

        Just because a child is worth sacrificing life for you doesn’t mean that it is for everyone else.

    • Rebecca

      Look I choose my career and education also the only difference is I chose adoption… And now that little girl is with a family that a couldn’t have children, in response marina, of somebody doesn’t give a barren family a child how else do you expect them to receive one? The girl now has a brilliant future ahead of her; she is now 5 and can read, knows her numbers, letters, and can read. Furthermore she plays many different sports. I am not going to lie I struggled for awhile with whether or not I was being selfish, turns out it was the best thing for my child and for me. So Alexia

      • Rebecca

        Alexa, someones opinion of right and wrong doesn’t me they have resentment, it is just clearly very different than yours, which is fine bc clearly I disagree with you also. Should Jessica have given up her career of being a doctor absolutely not, but that also means they should have been practicing safer sex methods, clearly she is smart. Look I also know that stuff happens, I mean I was raped. Yes we all make decisions and not everyone if going to agree with them it’s part of life just remember 99% of them will only involve you, so think twice heck even four times before making such comments as “it was best for me and my baby” bc unless you were able to consult the child out see the future you simply cannot make such claims.

      • KD

        “before making such comments as “it was best for me and my baby” bc unless you were able to consult the child or see the future you simply cannot make such claims.”

        Totally true. When I had my abortion, I thought I was doing what is best for me and my future. What I didn’t know was that my future would include years of infertility. I am still childless at 40 and still feeling the effects of my selfishness. Am I being denied a child because I denied another couple their chance at having a family?

        It amazes me that there are women out there who have abortions and feel nothing. I knew immediately after the ‘procedure’ that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I have lived in regret and pain since that day. I can’t even watch this show. It’s too painful.

      • Heidi

        KD what unfortunately happened was that the abortion clinic did something wrong by not going through all the potential issues that could affect you later and instead validated your choice without giving you facts. God is not punishing you, and you are not infertile because you were selfish. You made a decision you regret and a very unfortunate side effect was infertility possibly from scarring due to the abortion. Its a physical complication, not a punishment. You are punishing yourself for making a mistake. I really hope you can check into your local possibilities for post abortion counselling to help you forgive yourself and stop feeling such emotional pain for your choice.

    • imho

      Why is NO ONE offended by the disaster area MTV has become? A tv show that exists b/c young women get pregnant and have the baby (trust me, many will look at Amber, Macy, et al and see pregnancy as an MTV meal ticket.)

      Now, a tv show that exists to show the struggle one goes through when they have an abortion.

      Where’s the tv show that promotes safe sex or abstinence?

      • SweetHoney

        Oh, I certainly do, however, a recent scientific study shows that “Teen Mom”, and other shows of its ilk actually deter teen preganacy.

        http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2010/12/dammit

        Sadly, it has its uses. *sigh*

      • john

        do you never watch the end of the show where the mother gives her last confessional and almost always says “If i would have known how hard it would be, i would have waited”? That’s the point of the show. To promote safe sex and show teens it’s not a ball of fun to be 16 and pregnant. it’s real. and scary.

      • @john

        did u also see at the end of the show the girl say she mad a sacrifices to have an abortion by sellin her prom ticket?

        or did u notice that all the girls on that episode that had abortions glorified it saying it was the best decesion and not ONE spoke about having regrets? totally one sided

      • coolshay8

        Actually since 16 and pregnant started to air the teen pregnancy rate is at an all time low….this show helps show the struggles of being a teen mom and 16 and pregnant it doesnt glorify it. Maybe you should do some research

      • DivaSoulSista

        I was a teen back when the M in MTV stood for Music. Now, it stands for Motherhood! Teen Mom, Pregnant at 16 and now No Easy Decision. It’s sad what MTV has become.

      • @coolshay8

        maybe you should do some research. yes there are articles claiming this show has helped girls rethink teen prgnancy, BUT
        -teen pregnancy is NOT at an all time low. In fact many studies have shown girls see the show and want their 15mins of fame and are outraged that you can audition for the show.
        you should try looking into credible research instead of basing your “facts” on a TMZ magazine

    • SweetHoney

      Jessica, don’t listen to the ignorant haters. One of my best friends went through a similar situation in college, and while she has felt sad about the decision many times, she too knows it was right for her.
      I can tell from what you’ve written and how you’ve responded to the people who can only see the black and white of abortion that you are a strong woman who probably doesn’t need the support of a stranger, especially this far distanced from the event, but you have it here. :)

    • Erin

      Jessica, i applaud your decision. I, too, had an abortion at a young age. It doesn’t make me less of a mother to the son I have now, I feel like it made me a better mother. I am able to provide for him now, if I had a child at 19 we both would have been poor, uneducated, and living off of next to nothing. Anybody that will tell you its a decision that makes you a monster, or selfish, has never had to make that decision. When children have children it makes for miserable, unhealthy lives for everyone involved. This is why we have the option. The system is already filled with children waiting for parents, and some of those children will never get them. Its easy for other people to say “give it to someone who can’t have children” but thats not what I am here for. And not all of the people who aren’t able to have children can even make it through the adoption process. Anyone could tell me that what I did was wrong, but in my heart I know it was right. I have no regrets, and if that makes me a monster, I bet you’ve never been in my shoes.

      • coolrepublica

        I call BS. Let’s try an experiment shall we. If you are sure Erin that your abortion “made you a better mother” I dare you, I double dare you, to tell your son that you had an abortion at 19 and tell him with a smile that without aborting that baby’s life his life would have been %*&$*. I dare you I double dare you. Tell him and see if you buys you thank you flowers.

      • Jen

        coolrepublica, so because Erin doesn’t want to tell her small child that she had an abortion at 19 that means her decision was wrong??

        You really are being silly now. I had an abortion at a young age. And another daughter when I was ready to raise a child. Now that my daughter is an adult, I have no problem with sharing with her about my decision. I’m not ashamed of it because it was a heart-wrenching decision at the time.

        I find it so funny that people like you are so quick to judge others. So quick to assume you would know what you would do if it ever happened to you. You just can’t imagine what it’s really like.

      • Sense in Science

        Hey coolrepublica, guess what… she didn’t abort a “baby”, she aborted a fetus. There is a HUGE difference. But, joining along with your silly logic, you are essentially aborting hundreds of thousands of potential babies every time you whack off to the undergarments section of the JC Penney catalog.

      • jeni

        coolrepublica, You are just a hateful person. First off we have the right to make the choice and who do you think you are to bully someone because they made that choice. the choice of abortion is harder then adoption or giving birth. I had one when I was young and I have three great kids now. My daughter is 16 and we watch this show and I told her about my story and I also talk very deeply with her about birth control and such. However there are MANY parents out there that do not talk to their kids like this. Maybe because I had to make the choice of abortion I am so open to talk things over with my kids. I think maybe you need to grow up. If you think adoption is good, think again. Those kids grow up and think they were not wanted and there are a lot of emotional scars that the kids go through most of the time. I know that first hand.It’s one of those things in life that your damned if you and your damned if you don’t. So stop putting people down for doing what is right for them. I hope you don’t ever have to be in this situation and have to make a choice like this.

      • jeni

        sense in science you are kind of right. However the birth control IUD you are aborting a cluster of cells because you are keeping your cervix open and the egg and sperm do fertilize and the cluster just falls out every month. So I would say it is all in how you want to look at some birth controls because they are the same concept as abortion. Day after pill as well if you want to claim that it is a baby as soon as the cells meet. Come on people, get a clue. Your not GOD so you have no right to judge.

      • Sad but true

        In an odd way I agree with coolrepublica, if your saying abortion is an accepted solution why would one be shameful of it? We shouldn’t find shame in “right decisions”.

      • Dani

        @Erin, I don’t agree with your comment of if you had a baby at 19, you would be poor and uneducated. Unless you are speaking of your own personal capabilities. I had a child at 19 and still went on to college and I make a good living now. I’m not poor and I have a bachelors degree. But that is because I refuse to let my child be the reason I did nothing with my life. I had alot of support and yes sometimes, I wanted to give up. I didn’t. It has to be your own personal will to want better for yourself. I don’t judge anyone who decides to have a abortion. That is personal choice of what you know you can and cannot tolerate. I knew that I would get my education regardless of my situation.

      • meabob@yahoo.com

        Hey Sense in science, using SCIENTIFIC FACTS please tell me what the HUGE difference is between a fetus and a baby.

      • Danielle

        I’m thinking this is comparing apples and oranges. You didn’t have a child as a teenager, then get pregnant again and realize “OH YEAH PERHAPS SEX LEADS TO BABIES” – you fell victim to life, got pregnant, had an abortion and hopefully LEARNED something from that experience. This woman on MTV, had a child – didn’t go on Birth Control, use condoms, stop having sex and focus on school … she got knocked up again and made a “decision” to abort her stupidity. Yours was a personal choice, her’s was an absolute lack of brains.

      • Marissa

        @jeni…I was adopted and I never once thought that I was unwanted. Don’t make generalizations. Perhaps you feel that way but don’t assume that everyone who was adopted is emotionally scarred.

      • Wade Roe

        Well I don’t think most people want to put on the shoes of taking someone’s life.

      • Jessica

        When my mother told me that she had an abortion I didn’t think any less of her. It was her decision. She had already had me and my brother at the time and we were living on NOTHING. There was no way she could’ve supported another baby and I only respect her more for having the abortion. Adoption would not have been a viable option because like Sally no one wants black babies for some reason.

      • DT74

        Erin,I think the problem is on this thread is that the women who have had abortions talk in absolutes. There is an alternative choice that would not have required you to provide for the child–adoption. You would not have been financially responsible for that child. Abortion is a choice and most of the time a choice a woman will make because they think that they cannot possibly live with giving up a child for adoption. Unfortunately, abortion carries deeper scars for that woman.

    • DGH

      Death was the best option for the baby what about being adopted? And Sence if thats your logic then you are one messed up individual and maybe your mom should have choose a different option.

      • Sense in Science

        Let me repeat: fetus does NOT equal baby.

      • Katie

        Honestly, people who say that life begins at conception and claim to be pro-life should never suggest, even jokingly, that someone should have been aborted.
        You can act like you’re against abortion, but when you joke about abortion, I can’t imagine that you actually take it all that seriously. If you really believe abortion is wrong, it shouldn’t matter who the fetus will become, whether it’s the doctor that cures cancer or the next Dahmer.

      • skip

        Sense in Science…Conception equals 1 egg and 1 sperm. A fetus is an unborn organism. Could be a human or a cat.. IN this case we’re talking about a human fetus whick means that—you guessed it a human will be born.. We’re not talking about a organ we’re talking about a complete person with little fingers and toes. that spits up and poops and cries when they’re hungry… The point is give the fetus a chance. I’m sure your parents didn’t go around smiling and telling the grandparents and all they’re friends…”hey we’re so happy we’re going to have a fetus”… they said BABY!

      • Nancy

        @Sense in Science – A fetus has everything that a baby has, it lacks only time and nutrition, but given time and nutrition it will be a baby. Just like a 2 year old has everything that a 4 year old has, but lacks time and nutrition. Are you suggesting that it would be OK to kill a 2 year old because it doesn’t have the skills and talents of a 4 year old? Of course not, that’s ludicrous! But apparently it’s OK to kill a “fetus” simply because it has not had the time and nutrition needed to become the baby it will inevitably and ultimately become.

    • Brian

      Jessica, please reply back and advise why you chose not to go the adoption route.

      • DivaSoulSista

        Jessica, do not reply. You don’t owe anyone here an explanation. It’s a MESSAGE BOARD for an entertainment magazine for goodness sake. You don’t know any of us and do not owe us anything.

    • Amanda

      There was a time in my life when I would have most likely made the decision to have an abortion if I became pregnant. Everyone can rant and rave about giving a baby up for adoption being the right, selfless thing to do, but unless you’re the pregnant person it’s not your decision. And, unless you’ve been 16 (or young and still in school) and pregnant, you’re opinion really isn’t valid. We live in an amazing country that gives us the freedom to believe what we want, and do what we want with our bodies. Not only that, but disagree with each other. We’re priviledged. Be respectful.

      • Danielle

        We also live in a country where condoms and birth control are readily available. I just wish more women AND men would use it properly, so nobody would have to make this hard decision to abort a pregnancy.

      • @Amanda

        Your right we do live in an amazing country that gives us freedom, but our country and government also has the job of keeping EVERYONE free and giving EVERYONE a voice. Even the unborn.

      • DT74

        Amanda, how is adoption not a viable choice? Because you would have been embarrassed to be a teenager who was pregnant? Sorry, but that would be selfish.

    • TightHoneyPie

      What aggravates me on the topic of abortion is that for some women, like myself, it’s not such a big “Boo-Hoo!” soul searching moment. I’ve had two abortions, one (surgical) at 19 and one (medical) at 34 and I’ve never once regretted my decisions. (For the record I was on the Pill and married both times, not that that should matter.) I don’t like kids, I don’t want kids, and I certainly don’t want to carry a kid for nine months and have it permanently wreak havok on my body only to give it up for adoption. Don’t lecture me with pious comments such as “Well, it was the right decision for you, but what about the child?” The fact is, the child was an invader in MY body, an unwanted invader, and I chose to remove it. When society advances to the point when a zygote to second trimester human can survive outside the womb, then yay. Happy day. My intent wasn’t “murder”, but to simply remove the invader from my body. If it can’t survive on its own outside of me, too bad so sad. I’m not trying to purposely incite anti-abortionists with my views, just letting everyone know that many times this isn’t such a big OMG! deal as many would like you – or want you – to believe. And for what its worth, never, EVER get the medical procedure. Its nowhere near as easy and painless as some make it out to be. Always opt for the surgical one.

      • Anon

        Then maybe you should have had your tubes tied and it could have saved you a lot of time, pain, and money.

      • Really

        I don’t understand women like you above. If you do not want an invader in your body, get permanent birth control. My sister got it after having had an abortion, and guess what, it was a lot less hassle than having to get TWO abortions. I am very pro-choice, but when I hear women like you act so callous about abortion, I wonder about the mindset of our society. I respect your decision not to have a child, its a mature one based on your own intrinsic insight, what I don’t understand is your lack of foresight and medical research to look into something less invasive and, in my opinion, less emotionally,mentally etc trying as abortion. As someone stated above, abortion is not BC and as anyone with more than a basic understanding of modern BC knows, the pill is not as effective as people want it to be in the long-term. Your post was cold and in many ways, condescending. If you really don’t want a child, take the advice of an OBGYN and look into permanent BC and stop using abortion in such a careless way.

  • Yvette

    Its about time this show has showed “the other decision”. Just know that there are millions of women who have had abortions and there are many more who support Your right to choose.

  • Christina

    The most powerful and necessary conversation thus far in this generation’s history. I am proud MTV finally gave a voice to abortion. Thank you for your bravery to share your story Markai.

    • Rachelle

      It was disgusting, even as a person who has an understanding of why people would choose abortion the show was making it seem like it should be socially acceptable. People should feel bad because it should never get to a point where people think its no big deal.

      • Marina

        It IS socially acceptable – it’s LEGAL! But just because it’s socially acceptable doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal, and I don’t think they treated it lightly.

      • BP

        It’s valid, it’s legal, and it’s a HUGE deal. Let’s stop pretending that women skip into clinics happy to be rid of their pregnancies. As the title says, it is no easy decision. And yes, people are selfish; they are allowed to decide the direction of their lives. Selfish. Just like the countless parents who think that their precious little toddlers are adorable when they are disrupting every thing in sight at restaurants, movies, malls, airplanes, etc. Selfish. Everyone has to make the choice that is right for them and the rest of you can STFU about that choice.

      • Heidi

        My main concern is for these women posting their pain right now and who couldn’t watch the show. As well, the girl featured is ain a lot of pain. The reality is, telling a woman that its a clump of cells, or its a fetus, or that she made the right decision do NOT HELP her heal and move forward making more responsible choices in the future and able to forgive themselves. They need to be able to talk about it openly because it is, to them, a baby…a tremendous loss, and not like a surgery to remove a cyst or something. Once they can share this and get the kind of counselling that helps her work through emotions rather than tamping them down, they can move to a place of recognizing they would have to live with the decision, cannot go back and do it differently, and that it is okay to forgive themselves and have a happy life. It should be mandatory in an abortion clinic for post abortion counselling to occur so that pain will not lead to that same young girl trying to replace the baby she lost through repeated pregnancies and carelessness, or self-sabotaging their chances at a good life. There are some women who can just move forward on their own but most need help and caring and validation for what they have gone through. I feel for these women tremendously.

      • umm what?

        just because it’s legal doesnt make it socially acceptable.

      • Danielle

        It’s not socially acceptable. Adultery is legal, that’s socially acceptable too? You’re an idiot Marina.

      • socially acceptable?

        would you talk about it over drinks? food, family get togethers? nope def. not socially acceptable just bc its legal

  • AngelsMom

    i think that this was something people should be able to discuss…its such a common incident to occur and lots of people say bad things about it…me personally I didnt want to have an abortion with my daughter but if I was to get pregnant again now (she’s 6 mths) I would have to consider it…its hard to decide what you would do if you dont have to so everybody who says I wouldnt do it…its killing a baby….you dont know…jus imagine what the world would be if noone had an abortion…lots of unfit mothers…kids not taken care of….economy worst…just a thought…i commend markai…u were strong for your baby…u mde the right decision…dnt let anyone make u think otherwise

    • mom of two

      If you don’t want another baby, then take precautions so it doesn’t happen. It is irresponsible to get pregnant if you know that you’re not ready and would consider abortion.

      • Marina

        Precautions fail. I got pregnant with an IUD. I know someone who got pregnant with a tubal ligation.

      • imho

        Hmmm? How about we abstain? It IS an option. Not the best for all, but an option nonetheless.

      • Woot

        So couples should never express their loves for one another? That’s stupid. Abstinence is something that young teenagers should probably follow, but really sex is natural and healthy. Saying people should abstain would make relationships much worse.

      • umm what?

        Since when is having sex the only way you express love to eachother. It’s nice to live in unicorn land where everything is cupcakes and rainbows but pregnancy is 100% preventable! If you can’t show someone you love them without having sex.. than you have some serious issues. We aren’t animals in heat, running around with no self control

      • Katie

        I agree, if you can’t show love without physical intimacy, there MIGHT be problems in your relationship. However, if you can’t share physcial intimacy with the person you love, I would also sy their MIGHT be problems in your relationship.
        Sex is an important part of a romantic relationship. Acting like sex itself is bad or evil doesn’t do anyone any good.

      • Samantha

        @Woot: There are plenty of ways outside of PIV sex to express love and even have sex.
        @Katie: Some people have issues that prevent sexual contact such as a semen allergy. Sex isn’t bad, no. But sex isn’t the be all end all of relationships either.

      • Danielle

        Thank you.

    • Rebecca

      Um I am pretty sure that is already occurring, have you not looked around angelsmom? And having an abortion doesn’t make you strong for your baby, it simply means you made a decision and one that will have a profound mark on you for the rest of your life.
      No offense marina, but you are starting to sound resentful for whatever reason, life happens it is just a matter of what we do with paths that are presented to us and at the end of the day simply knowing we gave are best and use every opportunity even when it scares us.

      • AJ

        I had an IUD (99% effective form of birth control). It failed, and I got pregnant. I had an abortion at just under 5 weeks pregnant.

        That was three years ago and I don’t regret it at all. Birth control failure happens, even with effective methods used correctly.

    • Sad but true

      The economy doesnt get WORSE..because of born babies, it gets WORSE by aborted babies, who obviously can’t work if they’re not around.. this is a fact, look it up

      • anonymously

        LOL!

      • anonymous

        Really? so the gov’t isn’t encouraging graduate school to stop students from entering the work force because unemployment is so high? and crime rates haven’t fallen because legalized abortion meant that unwanted babies who would grow to become criminals weren’t born? I have no personal opinion on abortion. It is a serious and private decision that must be made by individuals based on their specific situation. I do believe that having abortion as a legal and safe option is in the best interest of society. After all, even if it were illegal, it would still exist, and women would still seek it. By having it as an option, we provide safety for women, preventing a second tragedy. If you don’t like abortion, don’t have one.

      • Danielle

        HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

      • joeyjojo

        let’s follow this logic for a second.

        Currently, we’re at or near double digits worth of unemployment.

        However, if we had no abortions in the last thirty years, we would’ve had more babies and, thus, more people to work.

        Yet, you allege that this would be better for the economy when, clearly, the logical position is that it would mean higher unemployment which, by definition, is bad for the economy.

      • @joeyjojo

        It’s not logic, it’s a fact. Although you seem more then capable of holding a conversation I’m sure you haven’t conducted nation wide studies. Sad but true is correct, having babies brings more money into the economy, not only will most become employed but the money that is spent on a child puts money BACK into our economy.

        So unless you have a sound study provided by the government or a crystal ball to see each unborn child’s future you should take a seat.

      • @anonymous

        I’m not sure how you figure the govt is encouraging you not to enter the work force but that’s def. not the case. If anything they are encouraging the banks to give out more loans to private buisnesses in order to create more emplyoment opportunities. The amount of government jobs has increased also… so your point is null and void.

    • J

      “you made the right choice for your baby” …what baby? there isnt one now :(

      • JP

        Good point! These comments make me sick. How can anyone possibly be that dumb?? “Best choice” for the baby indeed. Give me a break! As usual it was someone thinking about themselves rather then the little person that they, through their own actions brought into the world. I’m not judging these girls that find themselves in these situations but lets be real! Why should it be legal for a mother to take the life of her defenseless child because she’s “not ready”? Please, Liberty? Justice? What about the baby’s rights? Wake up America! You make me sick at heart.
        And as to some of these fools and their ‘the poor girl having to face the “judgement” of their family for becoming pregnant’What a joke! The family doesn’t judge her for sleeping with her boyfriend just for getting caught!
        Only in America! The founding fathers would roll over in their graves.

  • KT

    A real, non-judgmental conversation was long overdue and I appreciate what MTV has done. Dr. Drew is about education and this is such an important topic for people to be educated on. No Easy Decision! Thank you for bringing this highly volatile subject to light.

  • Brittany

    So it would be okay if we just killed off all the elderly, too, then? That would help the economy, right?
    What an idiotic statement the whole comment above me was.

    • Brittany

      the comment from angelsmom, I mean.

      • lee

        Both sides have good reasons. But when you have sex that is a possibility that you might get pregnant no matter what precautions. And even though you do not like to think about it abortion is murder to that baby that is alive in you. Your taking the possibility away from it of any future and the great or bad things it might have done in its life. And no one else but the parents and family have to live with the decision that couple made.

        Also my last thought even though you think your alone and it will ruin your life. Some times if you let others in, it is amazing how some families will do anything to help just to let you and the baby have a life.

    • Erin

      Well, technically, killing off the elserly would help the economy… But I feel like that was not your misguided point…

    • jennyyyyylovesu

      Lol, if its so right to kill a baby who hasn’t enjoyed their life, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to kill old people who lived to the fullest!

      • TrueStory

        It is what it is….and at the end of the day you live with your actions…..cant tell people how to live their lives…..

      • Cam Ann

        Abortion is a personal decision, and a very difficult one, but I do have to say that many women use abortion as birth control (I known a few myself). The best way to avoid having to make this “difficult” decision is to do everything possible to avoid getting to that situation: abstinence, condoms, pills, etc.

        People need to stop making sex such a taboo subject. Until EVERYBODY accepts that sex is a normal physical process, then people will not talk about the precautions one must take. Teenage pregnancy is 100% preventable, through open dialogue, access of contraception, and tolerance.

        Religion should stay out of of it! There are enough unwanted children out there, we don’t need to make more. Abortion in my opinon, is murder of another human being, but I would rather have a teenager have an abortion then to have a child that she will burden society with, and most likely she will not care or love for properly.

        I was lucky enough that at age 19, when I had my son, I was mature and responsible enough to take care of him properly, he changed my life, but that’s not to say that it was not difficult. My son is lucky that I took responsibility for my own actions, but most young women don’t have the maturity to do the same, so if that means that they have an abortion, so be it!

      • Chelle

        What it comes down to is that it is the individuals decision to have an abortion or not. That IS the law whether you agree with it or not. No one can judge someone else’s decision because you can never fully understand the individuals situation even if you want to.

      • robin

        I give mtv credit. They are tackling hard subject and they are real. I think all teenge should watch this shows. They can see what could happen to them. if we like it or not it happens and i give credit to the girls and familys for showing this decision on tv.

      • Ariane

        i can’t belive some of the comments on here. First, I don’t think it should be used for a form of birth control. Second, to Lily and whoever else said that she should have read the package for birthcontrol go take a sex ed class! You can still get pregnant on birth control 3 out of my 4 kids are proof! I took it at the same time everyday and never skipped a dose! Did I think about abortion at 16 yes I did and me personally thought okay if I can do a grow up thing like having sex I can take care of this pregnancy and baby once it’s born. She did not kill a child. I think it is wrong to wait til the last minuite to have one. Last, it is a WOMANS CHOICE TO HAVE ONE! Not yours and not mine. I am glad to hear this young lady take in consideration of what “could be and what could have been”. Also, sorry to break your bubble there are thousands of children in the system all ready in the USA! You know the saying don’t throw rocks and glass houses some of you should think about it!

      • Sherman

        I was totally offended by this special. I do believe in a woman’s right to choose, but I do think it needs to be clear how irresponsible this young lady and her boyfriend are. You already have a child that you cannot afford. Perhaps you should be a little more careful and take the proper precautions to prevent another child you cannot afford. There are thousands of woman who would kill for a baby. I do not think we should commend the acts of an irresponsible teenager.

      • Vicissitude

        As a woman with infertility, I don’t understand, and I probably never will. I’m not on here to dismiss anyone’s opinions or attack anyone, so I’d appreciate it if the ADULTS on this thread could act in an adult manner and stop berating and belittling their peers. With that said, I do have an opinion on the matter: different strokes for different folks. I’m not saying that this is what this woman did, but I don’t agree with using birth control as a method of contraception. Living in Memphis, Tennessee I hear this a lot from teen mothers. They didn’t use protection and got pregnant. One girl that I worked with actually said she didn’t use condoms because they don’t feel right, and birth control pills and shots make her fat and sick. I also knew a teen mother who had an infant son and worked at a department store part-time, while maintaining a 4.0 GPA. What happens with a lot of girls is that they have family members that tell them that their life is over and they can’t go to college with a baby. If you have the GPA, any college will be happy to give you a full scholarship and most colleges have family housing. Both universities I attended had family housing and childcare available. I honestly think that adoption is a great option if you can’t handle the responsibility of a child at the time. I used to be pro-life, for religious reasons, but I am now pro-choice. And I believe a man does have a say so in this issue. I had a miscarriage at 23, and soon after I asked my husband a question, and I was very upset with his answer. He said that if I was pregnant and the doctor said that there were significant risks (death of me, the baby, or both) if I were to carry the child to term, he would instruct the doctor to do an abortion. His reason: God can give us another baby, but he can’t give me another you, and I won’t risk losing you. And there are other circumstances that warrant an abortion. If your teen daughter was raped, would you make her go through the pain of childbirth and feel that her attacker is raping her all over again? What if she resents that child because he was conceived from hate, pain, and violence, or because he looks like the attacker? What if the child grows up to be a murderer, rapist, etc as a result of the mother’s resentment? Think.

      • LG

        Markai said it best “No one is pro-abortion …”. Of course abortion is destroying a life, but for some women (girls)with no stable relationship or financial means – keeping the child would be destroying 2 lives. I teach in an area where the demographic is primarily uneducated and most live below the the poverty line. I see girls everyday that have no idea how to raise children to be anything more than society’s “throw-aways”. These poor children would have been better off NOT being born. The “life” of the unborn is not be be measured quantitatively, but in terms of quality. Why be born simply to suffer?

      • PL

        Until you’ve been in this heart wrenching situation, don’t judge. My daughter and I, very pro-life, quickly saw our perspectives change COMPLETELY after one time of being carelessly carried away. Luckily, there is enough compassion in our house that she was able to tell me immediately and get the plan B pill ..and we didn’t have to make the abortion decision. And NO- Plan B is not abortive- it keeps you from ovulating and conceiving- so don’t start that argument. But that day, looking at MY 16 year old child just crying on the porch- my perspective changed forever. We both saw the future she wanted just spiraling out of her hands. Is she careful now? Yes. Does she make better decisions, absolutely. But had she been afraid to tell me, ended up pregnant, I would have let her have the abortion, and continued to dry the tears. 16 year olds face a HOST of medical problems carrying a baby to term. It is physically MUCH more risky for a 16 year old give birth than to have a first trimester medical abortion. Look up the risks for 16 year olds carrying a baby to term and you will see: permanently deformed pelvis, mishapen spine, osteoprosis…and a host of other problems. Abortion isn’t wanted, or desired, but at times it may be the best option for the teenage girl. And seriously, right wing Christians (like me lol) who think that murdering a fetus is against God’s will, would also tell you that sex before marriage is also against God’s will. So with that logic, it was against God’s will for that baby to be conceived in the first place.

      • spade_simmon

        Why hasn’t anyone focused on the real issue? Everyone wants to go right to the abortion vs. adoption route, but why can’t we prevent these from happening in the first place? Young girls everywhere are struggling with self-esteem issues, problems at home, and all the stresses of being a teenager. There are so many things that contribute to teens having sex (besides the fact that it’s sex…it’s fun), but when they get pregnant they aren’t equipped to deal with it. I would love to see a world that focuses on the person before tragedy, whether it is abortion or adoption. Both are tragic! Instead of judging these people for their decisions, we should try to help people before they have to make such decisions.

      • Amber Nicole

        I am 18, married, and live with my husband and our two year old son. I got pregnant when i was just shy of 16. I had support from my family but they definitely didn’t pay my bills or offer a helping hand 24/7. I graduated on time this year and there are alot of things I did have to sacrifice. I chose to have sex. I chose to keep my son. I chose to take a different route to get where I am now but I’m here and I am doing just fine. I feel like people need to be more aware of taking the right measures to protect themselves because getting pregnant at any age and not being ready can happen to anyone. I don’t think anyone has the right to judge others because you don’t know what every womans situation is. I think that getting multiple abortions is down right disturbing;;; people make mistakes and even though you know that you could get pregnant you ignore it or dont think it could happen to you. You should be able to choose whats right for your situation but LEARN from it. Same goes for people who are pro life and keep popping out babies and are living off welfare. This is a major touchy subject and all in all it is a PERSONAL subject so you decide because no matter what you do life isnt always going to be 100% perfect and you will have to live with whatever decision you make for the rest of your life.

      • Kelly J.

        Personally, I don’t agree with abortion, but I don’t think the people who have had abortions are necessarily horrible people. Two of my best friends have had one abortion each and they’ve told me that it was the biggest mistakes of their lives. I don’t think any less of them. But I also think that it is the best option to put your child up for adoption, and I do know as well, that there are plenty of children within the foster care system, but many of them are older than “baby age.” It is undoubtedly a very sad and discouraging circumstance but it does not change the fact that babies are adopted much more quickly, not to mention the fact that the birth mothers choose the parents that they find suitable for their unborn child. If a person does not want the responsibility of making such an important decision such as this, then contraception is the key, or if you want to be REALLY sure, abstinence. It is discouraging to know that American society treats pre-marital sexual relationships so casually. According to the CDC, 6 out of 10 people have STDs. Why don’t we encourage abstinence? I know it is not plausible for EVERY SINGLE unmarried person to be abstinent, but what’s wrong with encouraging it? Maybe that would help ease the issues with children in the systen and abortion. Just a thought. I hope nobody gets butt hurt. I’m not trying to offend anyone. Just stating what apparently nobody else has said.

      • @LG

        But who are you to decide which life is more important? that makes NO sense

    • blip

      Hey, Brittany, you just keep that idiot flag flying, girl. Killing an actual human being (an elderly human being, say) is a whole lot different than flushing out a phlegm-like clump of cells. One might equal regret; the other, most certainly, equals murder. (Or, if you like, according to your way of thinking, we could kill off all the pre-employed teens, too. You’re– I mean, they’re– just as economically “useless” as the elderly, when you think about it. A whole lot more annoying, too.)

      • Menchy

        Oh please. “a phlegm-like clump of cells?” When you have sex, you don’t do it to make a “phlegm-like clump of cells,” you do it to make a baby. You can justify it all you want, but if it’s a baby to one couple (aka the couple that plans to keep it), it’s a baby to everyone. The fact that you can dismiss the idea that killing an unborn child is wrong is disturbing.

      • john

        actually, usually sex isn’t used as a means to make a baby. its used to either “have fun” or “be romantic”. but except in cases of two people TRYING to make a baby, the intent usually isn’t there. This discredits your statement.

      • Cult of Heather

        Actually, Menchy, when people have sex they often DON’T do it to make a baby. They do it because it is enjoyable (if they are doing it right).

      • JenLaw

        Talk to my friend whose mother physically forced her to have an abortion at 5 months, how they broke her water and flopped that baby on her belly before they threw it in a pan. Scarred for life? You bet.

      • @JenLaw

        JenLaw, I’m sorry but you’re full of poop. No doctor would ever EVER perform an abortion like that. 1) it’s ILLEGAL to have an abortion after about 3 months unless there’s a huge risk to either mother or child. 2) it’s also ILLEGAL to force anyone to have any medical treatment without consent, no matter how old you are. Now, if your friend was forced to do a back ally abortion . . . 1) what’s being discussed here is legal, sterile abortion performed in a doctor’s office with trained medical professionals. 2) If it was a back ally abortion, you kinda just proved the need for legal kind if your friend is scarred for life.

        I am a child of adoption and I support a woman’s right to choose, no matter her situation. There are millions of kids in foster care today that barren mothers can adopt. Unless you personally want to adopt every one of them, only then can you throw it in someone’s face about all the mothers who can’t have kids.

        Before the 3 month mark (look up the actual science people) the fetus cannot feel pain as his/her neurons have not fully developed.

        Wouldn’t it be nice if we did actually listen to Jesus when he said, “let he among you without sin cast the first stone?” Wouldn’t you rather face God saying, “I showed empathy to my fellow men and women. I did not judge the decisions of others. I loved my neighbor no matter what decision they made,”?

      • @JenLaw

        Right on @JenLaw! Too often people use the Bible to throw judgment on others without remembering that God told people not to do that!

      • JenLaw

        Jesus hates you

      • robocaller

        To @JenLaw:

        You’re not presenting the law correctly. Read up the on Supreme Court cases. Roe v Wade (1973) says in the second trimester states can only regulate abortion to protect a woman’s health, and can only ban it in the third trimester in the cases that a woman’s life or health isn’t threatened. Doe v Bolton (1973) ruled that the definition of “health” may include emotional and psychological well-being.

        The Doe v Bolton ruling is what drives a lot of pro-life advocates and was the central issue in the George Tiller case. Tiller was accused of providing abortions simply for reasons like depression.

        On the other hand, pro-choice advocates will argue that despite the legal protections, the majority of abortion providers will not perform abortions past the beginning of the second trimester simply because of the social stigma, let alone perform them with an expansive definition of “health”.

        Don’t take the word of either side of this debate, read factual arguments from both sides and understand both sides of the issue.

        The main disappointment I have with shows like this on MTV is that they don’t honestly educate young people on the many sides of political debate… Even as they encourage young people to ‘rock the vote’.

      • JenP

        Just want to correct @JenLaw so there isn’t misinformation. It is legal to have an abortion in the second trimester but they knock you out for it so what JenLaw described would not happen (at least in a legit scenario).

      • J

        @blip: what about when the elderly are practically as incapable as doing tasks as a baby in the womb. elderly do reach that point before death but we dont kill them off. so your argument is not very strong. and if you call a fetus in the womb a clump of phlegm and cells, wouldnt the struggling elderly be as well??

      • Kate

        @JenLaw was CORRECT. What was described by JenLaw was ‘partial-birth abortion’. On October 2, 2003, with a vote of 281-142, the House again approved a measure BANNING the procedure, called the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act. Through this legislation, a doctor could face up to two years in prison and face civil lawsuits for performing such an abortion. I am shocked at the amount of incorrect information, both legally and scientifically, flying around on this comments board. It’s quite unfortunate that we seem unable to have educated debate.

      • @JenLaw2

        What JenLaw posted about her friend was correct. I was 32 and married when my husband and I discovered the child I was carrying was Down’s Syndrome. Having dealt with that subject in my father’s family already, we agonized over the decision to continue the pregnancy or not. In the end, we chose to terminate. I’m sure there will be haters that comment that I killed my child bc he wasn’t “perfect” but until you are faced with that decision, you just don’t understand how heartbreaking it is. We had to consider our three older kids. If something were to happen to my husband and I, would we want them to be burdened with raising a special needs child? We did what was best for our family. I had to have a D&E at 5 months and it was the most painful experience of my life. Thankfully the Dr did not put my son on my stomach and I regret not asking to see him to this day, 8 years later. Abortion is NOT an easy decision….I still think about what could have been. We did go on to have another son and I know when I look into his eyes that he wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t have terminated. It was a sucky, sucky position to be put in to. I truly feel that there are people put on this earth that are meant to raise a special needs child, but I am not one of them.

    • Danielle

      I’d rather kill off the elderly than a fetus. At least a fetus doesn’t bother me at work during the day.

  • rhiannon

    i feel as though this is a very hard decision for any one to make. i too was a young mother at 20 and had an abortion when my son was just ten months old which was the same as her. its hard because you already are a mother and you know what that baby could be but in the same aspect you know that you have to do whats best for your child and i made my choice for financial reasons regarding my son as well. i just am waiting for the moment when i will feel better and less heart broken and that was 4 years ago…..heres hoping

    • Heidi

      rhiannon there are lots of free counselling centres that offer post abortion counselling. Now, what I mean by this is a clinic that will not make light of what you did – but neither will they make you feel worse for what you did. Theyre is a program called forgiven and set free. It has a religious base but does not have to bereligious and people can ask for the non-religious version. In any case, it helps you review why you chose what you did and how your emotional pain from not dealing with it can potentially be sabotaging your life at present. No one should be in pain from a decision they made four years ago. You should be able to own what you did, acknowledge the way you feel about your choice, grieve your loss and regret (if you have regret) or simply the loss of what might have been, and then move forward. You have to forgive yourself and their are counsellors who can help you and shouldn’t charge you a penny. I hope you find one even if it is just on the internet and don’t be scared off if its religious and you aren’t. If they seem judgemental then that’s not the right place. Good luck hon

      • Zhayushaf

        My husband wdloun’t help me either. I kept coming up with name ideas and he would only say he didn’t really like them, but when I asked for his input he wdloun’t have any ideas. So I stuck with the first name that I really liked and kept trying different middle names. I finally found a middle name that I just loved and I wrote it down and showed it to him. He looked at it and said he liked it. That was the first name suggestion he liked, he never even liked the first name until I paired it with that middle name. Was this answer helpful?

  • Terri

    Markai you are my hero!! Bless you for being so brave and talking about such an important subject!

    • hill

      she’s your hero? ouch. a girl who got pregnant because she skipped her birth control shot appointment and got pregnant a few months after having her baby at 16.

      Let me guess your auditioning for the next season?

  • britt

    so….. they dont have the money to raise their kid but they are dressed all nice, tattooed, and he got a grill? u kidding me? selfish people, you just killed your kid!

    • proud mother at the age of19

      I know right they can have sex but if they are grown enough to have sex then they are grown enought to suffer the consiquences

      • lisa

        parenting should not be suffering, thats the point idiot.

      • Fireflystare221

        Yes, just what every child wants to hear. They came into the world so their parents could “suffer the consequences”. Seriously? It shouldn’t be about punishing people.

      • Morgaine

        Babies should not be considered consequences.

      • anamarie

        having an abortion is most certainly “suffering the consequences.” I feel sorry for your baby if thas how you think of it. I was a mom at 17 and never once thought of having my son like that. He as not a punishment for me having sex that I needed to suffer for. He was a beautiful gift.
        Oh, btw, I had two kids by the time I was 22 and had an abortion because certain circumstances existed. Not financial, but physical. Do not judge lest ye be judged

      • disgruntled redhead

        Proud mother at the age of 19, I’m glad I’m not your kid. I feel sorry for your kids for implying that they’re consequences of your actions.

    • Heidi

      Britt they can’t go back now and Markai is in alot of emotional pain – no point in making it worse.

  • Sasha

    I thought this topic was covered very well by MTV. I’m glad people are opening up about abortion and all the complicated emotions and that they managed to do it in a non-judgmental fashion.

  • rhiannon

    you know PEOPLE like Brittany are the reason why they invented the word judgemental. didnt your mother ever teach you if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. to angels mommy that is your opinion girl and I COMMEND YOU for not only seeing both sides of it and providing positive feed back but also for not judging becasue you have not walked in markai’s or for that matter my shoes:)

    • Pro-Lif3

      “If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say anything at all.” Is that your life philosophy? I guess the abolitionist shouldn’t have told the slave owners that what they were doing was wrong. It might hurt their feelings. Better to have hurt feelings than to have your mom pay a butcher to chop you out of her womb.

  • rhiannon

    britt…….u dont know if they already had those things before their daughter even??? do you know her personally???? do you know her life?????? no i dont think so!!! stop judging unless you have walked a mile in her shoes……jesus christ ppl!!! she is a human being that deserves support and love!!!!!!!!!! not hurtful words:( shame on u:(

    • etm

      Well, the grill was new because he didn’t have it on 16 & Pregnant or on the reunion show. So we know he didn’t have that before their daughter was born.

    • Pro-Lif3

      Her child was a human being also that deserved support and love, not death.

      • anamarie

        oh go hold a sign of fake dead baby parts somewhere you holier than thou pile of crap

      • @anamarie

        take a chill pill lady. everyones entitled to their believes in jerks like you who add nothing but ignorance to a convo. people only insult when they have nothing smart to say

      • savetheclowns

        @anamarie Fake dead baby parts? Please, prove they are fake! Every single picture of an aborted baby can be supported by the scientific facts of human development. Wait, let me guess, you believe that “the clump of cells” magically turns into a baby (legs, arms, face etc.) in that 6 inch trip down the birth canal…and you baby killers call pro-lifers religious! ha!

      • JP

        Just so. Very well put!

    • Well..

      They didnt air the show to make a support group for her. They showed it so people can make their own decisions. Therefore we’re suppose to be talking about it.

    • Satakshi

      To be honest, I’ve aalwys had an interest in names.I was one of those girls who was 10 planning their family! Also, I have aalwys made stories, so I constantly needed names.Even when I don’t write the stories, I generally aalwys have a story in my head need names lol. Also, names are apart of my core interests or are interlinked with them.History,culture, literature,words,children family are all parts of names or names are crucial parts in them.So, my interests are interlinkedI first joined YA for school purposes, as I often answers that I needed on here couldn’t comment as I wasn’t a member. I then ambled my way through the different sections, when I settled on baby names, as it is was one of the few things a person can do that was pure’ if that makes sense.It’s innocent fun.You can’t cause harm you learn a lot. Also, I enjoy learning about names the cultures.Overall, I like helping people trying to help them find their perfect fit Was this answer helpful?

  • Brittany

    I said that because there is never a good reason to kill a child. So people need to stop giving excuses as to why it was okay. Adoption exists for a reason.

    • britt

      i agree brittany

      • lisa

        and you’re both idiots.

      • @lisa

        the only idiot here is you, reading peoples comments and calling them names like a 4yr old. grow up creeper

      • lol lisa

        lisa cant add an educated comment bc shes too busy auditioning for next season

    • angelmommy

      Some people cannot go the entire 9 months nurturing and caring for a unborn child they will give up. Some people should nip it in the bud. Not that I agree with abortion. But we do have the right to choose. Adoption is harder than abortion
      Neither are easy decisions
      But that doesn’t give you the right to judge anyone.

      • Alan

        Why does is this argument always framed as “judgement” I believe that a fetus regardless of its level of development is still human. In my mind this makes killing it extremely immoral. I don’t intend to judge individuals and its ridiculous that people like me can’t express our view without being accused of “judging.” I sympathize with reluctant mothers but I simply believe there can be no justification for killing. (unless carrying to term will kill the mother)

      • Pro-Lif3

        Abortion is not easier on the child.
        Of course, they don’t count. Just like Blacks didn’t count to slave owners.

        Part of being an adult is learning it’s not all about you and learning to sacrifice.

        Maybe these unmarried, single moms and dads needs to learn how to entertain themselves with their clothes on.

      • Enna

        Alan, this argument is often framed as judgment because it’s usually presented as, ‘they shouldn’t have done that’ (judgment), ‘they made the wrong decision’ (judgment). You know what? They gave it consideration and tried to make what they felt was the best decision for their whole family. It wouldn’t be the decision for me, but I’m not in their shoes. And if you’re of the opinion that abortion is wrong, the next time you’re in their shoes, don’t have one.

      • john

        a fetus isn’t a fetus until well into the pregnancy. learn your facts.

      • @john

        what facts are these? thats your opinion hence why the whole debate is going on

      • anonymously

        It’s more than judgement, it’s closed-mindedness. Most pro-lifers are simply never going to allow that there is another side to this issue. Their minds are made up. There really is no point in discussing it with them. Good thing Roe v. Wade is the law of the land so women can make their own choices.

      • @angelmommy

        and I quote “Some people cannot go the entire 9 months nurturing and caring for a unborn child they will give up”-idk how you can see thats not selfish, the ideology of if i can’t have the baby no one can. grow up

      • Truth

        @ProLif3 = Anti choice = pro reproductive slavery. You cool with that?

    • Fireflystare221

      I respect the fact that you disagree but it is possible to disagree civilly. That seems to be what you are having trouble with (at least in your earlier post). I wouldn’t dream of trying to change your mind. I personally support a woman’s right to choose what happens to/within her body however, as Markai put it; I’m not FOR abortion. Perhaps you could be a bit less judgemental though. You could never know what someone goes through in that situation unless you have been in it yourself.

    • Sophia

      It’s a good thing that I don’t consider abortion the “murder of a baby” but rather the termination of a fetus. We’re all entitled to our opinions.

      • @sophia

        If that makes you sleep well at night sweety.

        Stop sugar coating reality. “Pro-Choice”= Pro abortion

        A “mass of cells with a heartbeat a central nervous system” is a baby.

        Not allowing the baby an opportunity to strive in the world MURDER

    • Ktct

      Child birth is not without risk. I suffered a placental abruption with my third child, who was born at 34 weeks, despite excellent prenatal care. He was deprived of oxygen, and I suffered from blood loss. We were both lucky to make it through the ordeal, and I am not exaggerating. It’s not as simple as some people make it out to be.

      • but..

        yeah but thats rare. you can also get hit by a car when you walk on the side walk so should u stay home? we’re talking about majority

  • Laura

    we should all respect each others beliefs and decisions…Some people do not believe that what they are aborting is life. ecspecially when using the abortion pill. Others feel differently.
    I am pro-choice, but I dont think that abortion is the choice for me. I am thankful i have that choice to make. I am also thankful that women can have a SAFE abortion.
    If you dont agree with abortion, then simply dont have one.

    • puzzlr

      If you dont agree with abortion, then simply dont have one.

      Exactly!

      • Pro-Lif3

        Your simplistic drivel shows just how selfish and narcissistic you are.

      • Enna

        Pro-Lif3, that’s really the pot calling the kettle black. You’re ‘abortion is always wrong’, ‘suck it up and have the child no matter the impact’ is as simplistic as it comes. You seem to give no consideration to the thousands of ‘unwanted’ children already in the system that no one is adopting. You don’t think about the impact of another child on this struggling couple’s ability to give their first daughter as good a chance as they can. You don’t consider that sometimes it’s not that the couple was irresponsible but that birth control can fail. And what about the alternative to abortion? Women with unplanned pregnancies being forced to bear a child, or chance a potentially dangerous illegal abortion? Tell you what, you start adopting children, you support a struggling family with an unplanned pregnancy, put your money where your mouth is, and then I’ll lend your black and white opinion some credence. Until then, give us all a break.

      • anonymously

        @pro-life3

        Must be so frustrating to you that other women have differing (and equally valid) opinions and can legally determine their own fate. Maybe you should get a hobby?

  • Sydney

    I usually don’t add my two cents on an issue. But how can any of you defend abortion? I understand it’s a hard decision. And I understand that the girl from 16 & Pregnant just had a kid, but first off maybe she shouldn’t be having sex in the first place. I mean you think she’d learn from her first mistake. And that girl Brittany who added her two cents is not judgemental. She’s angry at how everyone now a days looks at abortion, IT’S KILLING HUMAN LIFE! I mean murder is a against the law here. And besides whether or not you agree with aboriton, think about it. There are plently of lovely married couples who can’t even convice a child naturally, and adoption is so expensive. I mean if you’re young and pregnant you could give a couple the wonderful gift of a child. I mean it is pure selfishness to get an abortion. I’m sorry but it is.

    • maryanne

      i guess my question would be, if abortion became illegal again, what should the punishment be for women who find a way to have one? even when it was illegal, abortion still happened, oftentimes with severe consequences. like many of the other people who have posted here, i am pro-choice, but dont believe that it is a choice i would make. however, i appreciate that i do have a choice. anyhow. i just want to know what you all think the punishment should be for women who would get an illegal abortion.

      • skip

        Abortion is killing a human being…Murder…so what should the punishment be. It’s premeditated, most of the time premeditated murder has a pretty stiff penalty. If a person kills a 1 month old baby we throw the book at them. NO DIFFERENCE— Un fortunatly because we like to justify selfishness some people argue that there is a difference, for the sake of convience.

      • @maryanne

        ever heard of an “eye for an eye”?

    • leila

      I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but concider this: What is life? Existence in this world? Only?? What about quality of life? And I am not talking about the parents only here, but of the whole family (grandparents, siblings to the expectant parents -if the couple expecting are young and need assistance of their parents -siblings, and the child/fetus itself). As some people have already mentioned on this forum, there are MANY children in foster care waiting for adoption. What are their lives like? Do you think all of them feel wanted?? Appreciated? Have a high quality of life?? Not to mention all the children who live in terrible circumstances with very poor families, drugs, violence (and, lets face it, might be better off in foster care). Then there are the children born with disabilities. Yes, of course there’s a place in our society for people with disability, no matter the degree, but don’t say that their quality of life is the same as everyone elses, not to mention their families. -And please don’t misunderstand this to mean that I think all disabled people should be aborted, because that is not at all what I am saying.

      I am merely posing this question:
      Is existence the point of living, or is living the point of existence? Is merely being alive life?

      Sometimes (yes, sometimes, not always)it is a better choice for EVERYONE involved, INCLUDING the unborn child/fetus/cells to have an abortion.

      And no, I have never had an abortion, but if I ever happened to be in a situation where that was up for consideration, then I would like to be able to make that choice without being judged by people who are not in my shoes.

      We all face difficult decisions in life, but they are our decisions to make, about OUR lives. -And have you ever considered that having a baby can be just as selfish as not having one? See if you can come up with scenarios where adding a baby to the mix could be the final straw, hmm??

      • BGT

        Very well said, leila.

    • anonymously

      @Sydney

      How can I defend abortion?

      You’re joking, right? Abortion is a perfectly legal procedure (and has been for about thirty years) and an option for any woman who wants it. There are also morning after pills that can be taken right away to prevent conception.

      Wake up and welcome to the 21st century where everyone is able to make their own decisions about their own bodies.

      • cyndi

        And YOU are an arrogant “think youknowitall”, have you ever been in the predicament where you had to make this decision? Never,say never.
        About 20 yrs ago I was also a firm pro-lifer. And I also made ignorant comments like your own, until…
        Sweetheart, as others have said-condoms break, bc fails. Until YOU have walked the same road as someone else, and faced with this type of deciwion-

      • cyndi

        @anonymously-
        The post following yours wasn’t aimed at you, some how my reply to someone earlier ended up down herd. :/ my post was in response to jill

        “Jessica | 12/29/10, 12:13am

        i was 22 yrs old when i had an abortion, during the summer before i was about to start my senior year of college before I headed into medical school. it broke my heart to decide my decision and i praise you for being brave enough to show your’s on tv. i still regret my decision but realize that it was best, not only for me, but my future baby. it just wasn’t the right time for me and my boyfriend of 5 years.

        Reply⁠

        coolrepublica | 12/29/10, 2:18am

        Nothing makes me laugh harder than people trying to thread in their own crap. And your “I realize that it was best, not only for me, but my future baby” line was just precious. Listen I hate to break it to you but what you did was not best for your baby. It was definately best for you, but not your baby. You know what would have been best for the baby, giving it up to someone who would not have considered it a burden to their dream of being a doctor. But you chose to kill it and now you are trying to make excuses. Listen own up to the fact that your selfish needs came first and chose accordingly. Let’s not insult my intelligence.

        And no I am not religious. Not even close. I am just calling a spade a spade. In this case BS from Jessica.lol

        Reply⁠

        Anna | 12/29/10, 2:37am

        Your’s is an intelligence that requires insulting. Perhaps the baby of which Jessica speaks is the child of her future. Abortion isn’t for everyone, neither is adoption, and until you’ve walked that mile you’d do best to save your laughter and rapier wit to the cocktail party circuit.

        jill | 12/29/10, 3:07am

        Thank u!!!!!!! There are so many women who CANT EVER have children. If you have an abortion your going to have alot more emotional scares than u would if u choose adoption. At least with adoption u have the option to see that child grow if u want an open adoption. If u choose abortion u deny a women who isnt as lucky as u in having children the life long joy and dream of being a parent. DONT USE ABORTION AS A METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL!There are soooo many good people out there who would love to have have your child!

        starbbycat | 12/29/10, 3:24am

        no you arent just calling a spade a spade – if you were whats with the lol at the end of your piece?

        Alexa | 12/29/10, 3:45am

        “coolrepublica” I appreciate your opinion, but I find it almost laughable that you say “Let’s not insult my intelligence.” Clearly this young woman is using her education and brilliance to become a doctor, help other people, and save the lives of even fools like you. What have you used your “intelligence” for aside from judgment? Jessica will be a very well prepared mother when she is ready, I’m sorry your life didn’t turn out the way hers will. Find peace in your decisions, not resentment in the choices of others.
        Jessica: I commend you for choosing your education and your best interest. It is your choice and you made a good one. I’ve been waiting for MTV to present the other side of the story. Thank you.

        Ashley | 12/29/10, 3:54am

        @coolrepublica You have absolutely no right to judge Jessica so harshly and assume that she and her boyfriend chose abortion because of “selfishness”. You do not know this person, you have never walked in this persons shoes for a day so you can’t even imagine how she felt. I can bet you wouldn’t have said the same thing you just thoughtlessly typed on a computer to this woman. Please think before posting such unkind things. It is nothing to write “lol” about. According to the “No Easy Decision” program, 1 out of 3 women chose abortion. It is about time that they get respect any human deserves instead of condemnation from others.

        jessica | 12/29/10, 8:43am

        that was 5 years ago, and i would still choose the decision i choose. i now have 2 children and still believe that abortion is the right choice for people in certain situations. and to jill: clearly when i said “future baby”, i meant what it could have become. just because others have different views on situations than yourself, doesn’t mean they are wrong. It’s called an opinion for a reason. I commend Markai for making such a tough decision for what she believes is the right one for the child she has.

        SweetHoney | 12/29/10, 9:41am

        @Jill: Really? And whats to say that abortion was her primary meathod of birth control. She says herself that she was headed for med school, is it unthinkable that a smart girl had a condom break? Or that the birthcontrol didn’t work?
        BTW, who the hell are you to judge what had to be an incredibly difficult decision? And it’s not just “oh, some other parent wants your baby”. If you are able to do that, then of course it is the better option, for the unborn child. The one that has no thoughts or emotions yet. But, for the living breathing 22 year old girl, this would mean so many things, like the judgement of those (including family possibly) around her, the money it would nhave taken to have a child, which could have taken away money needed for school and living expenses, it could have delayed med school for this girl. You have no idea what the circumstances were (neither do I obviously, but still, at least I consider the possibilities.

        Tami | 12/29/10, 10:04am

        Well said!

        Rutgers2011 | 12/29/10, 2:16pm

        I couldn’t agree with you more. Someone had to say it.

        BB | 12/29/10, 3:38pm

        You are an idiot. Until you walk in someone’s shoes do not judge.

        Sydney | 12/29/10, 3:39pm

        THANK YOU! Abortion shouldn’t be a form of birth control! I’m sorry but it’s not a debatable matter, abortion is killing a baby. And to Jessica, I don’t care if you weren’t ready for a baby back then. But guess what? TOO BAD! It wasn’t the babys fault that is was conviced, so you shouldn’t punish your unborn child by killing it.

        Mike | 12/29/10, 5:03pm

        While I half agree with both Jessica and coolrepublica, lets not talk about adoption like its a sure thing. When people give children up for adoption they like to think that their baby is going to be adopted by this golden, perfect couple but that’s not always the case. Lots of babies never get adopted and spend their lives as orphans. Is that really what’s best for them? What if the child is adopted by a couple that isn’t so nice and the child is abused? Is that really best for them?

        red | 12/29/10, 6:04pm

        hey,nimrods. easier said than done.
        i had one and it was the best thing i could do for me. who r u to tell any one any thing.fyi i thought this was america. we have the freedom to do what we feel is best for us. grow up you negitive nancies.

        Seriously | 12/29/10, 6:58pm

        I’m trying to understand why people think spewing vitriol will change a situation. Even if I don’t agree, I fail to see what mean-spirited judgement will do to change Jessica or Markai’s situation. This is exactly why people can no longer talk about politics and faith without things going awry. I agree that if I got pregnant with a baby outside of rape and incest, I would have it and likely keep it. However, I do not agree with bashing women who have made what must be an agonizing choice for most. Too many people are religious and not enough people are actually spiritual and in possession of COMPASSION these days.

        Kirby Wantanabe | 12/29/10, 8:18pm

        Thank you. I thought that as well. Not so great for the cells you just had removed.

        Danielle | 12/29/10, 10:10pm

        I too had an abortion 5 years ago. I was is a very rocky and abusive relationship and felt as if I had no support from my boyfriend in keeping my baby. I understand I ended a life and own up to it. I also suffer from nightmares, depression, and other side effects. What I don’t understand is how someone who has not gone through this can judge and be so hard? Living with this is hard enough with people thinking their short commings are better then mine. If I would of kept my child its life would not be good and giving it to another family may not have turned out great either. My child could of turned out like Jill or Coolrepublica. And FYI no uses abortion as a form of birth control.

        Danielle | 12/29/10, 10:22pm

        Alexa, seriously, if her medical intelligence was so superior she would have known about that great invention called the birth control pill.

        Someone should’ve aborted ANNA | 12/30/10, 2:18am

        If we could only back in time and abort pro-lifers like Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck, imagine how much better the planet would be… just saying.lol

        jill | 12/29/10, 3:09am

        Why didnt you let a women who couldnt have children have it?

        Reply⁠

        Marina | 12/29/10, 4:44am

        It’s not anyone else’s job to provide infertile women with babies. Women aren’t breeding machines.

        Winona | 12/29/10, 8:07am

        There are already thousands of children waiting for adoption – why clog up the system more?

        Liz | 12/29/10, 9:56am

        Natural selection, if you can’t produce your own child you aren’t meant to breed, or in this case parent. Get over it.

        adoptive mom | 12/29/10, 12:19pm

        Jill, I wish all woman thought like you. Marina, Yes, it’s not anyone elses job, but if you find yourself pregnant and can’t keep the baby, why not give it to loving parents that can’t have a baby of their own. It would be the most unselfish thing you can ever do in your life. Teens and woman who do not use contraception do become “breeding machines”. Markai is a perfect example. If she still doesn’t use contraception, she will keep getting pregnant over and over. The only way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence or contraception. Winona, You are wrong. There are not thousands of babies waiting for adoption. We had to adopt from overseas 16 yrs ago because we couldn’t find a baby to adopt here in the states. Liz, That’s the most idiotic, mean spirited response I ever saw. I hope someday you can’t have children of your own and know what it’s like to yearn for a child and not being able to have one.

        Courtney | 12/29/10, 1:49pm

        There are plenty of kids without parents in the country, not to mention the world. People don’t need to have their unwanted kids just so the infertile can have a healthy baby to adopt.

        Ktct | 12/29/10, 4:43pm

        @adoptive mom: having worked for several years as a psychologist in the NYC foster care system, there are indeed thousands of children who need homes. There is no need to travel overseas.

        Robin | 12/29/10, 5:39pm

        My husband was adopted by the ‘golden couple’ who couldn’t have their own children. He’s often said the scars of the horrible abuse they inflicted on him make him wish many times his teenage mother had chosen abortion. Just make note, that no decision is 100% right or wrong, its a difficult choice but it’s the woman’s to make not everyone elses.

        Sally | 12/29/10, 6:33pm

        Easy- people want white babies, harsh but 100% true. Black babies just end up in the horible foster system.

        Colleen | 12/30/10, 12:33am

        Because it’s the choice of the woman who is pregnant, not anyone elses

        Marissa | 12/30/10, 2:38am

        @Liz…your comment was one of the most ignorant I’ve read on this board. Just because a woman cannot have a child does not mean she is not supposed to be a parent!!! I was an unwanted pregnancy and subsequently adopted by a wonderful couple who struggled for a decade with fertility problems. I know that not every adoption works out for the best (@Robin, I’m so sad to hear about what happened to your husband), but my adoptive parents are the best parents I could have ever asked for. I am forever grateful for the bravery of my birthparents for giving me the chance to live when they could have easily aborted me. Just because my adoptive mother couldn’t “breed” does not mean she should not have children simply because natural selection tells her that it’s just not in the biological cards for her. What a ridiculous statement.

        jill | 12/29/10, 3:15am

        future baby???? that baby is dead now….u dont get preg. with the same baby twice sweetheart.

        To finish my post (sorry,but using my Blackberry and it got cut off some how).
        If you

    • Twin

      It amazes me how rude people can be. No one knows what someone goes through until your in that situation and until your in that situation u have no right to judge people and their decisions. Trust me when i say the majority of people who do ultimately choose abortion do so with a heavy heart and must live with it forever, and although it is hard it may be the best decision for them. No need to call them a baby killer or what not because until your a teen mom or even a young adult and are shocked by an unplanned pregnancy u have no idea what they are going through. And, such things as family support, the babys father, monetary means, and even the place they are in their life are all huge factors. Some young adult women are completely ready to have children at 22, but many and most are not. And to the woman who spoke about having to go out of the states to adopt. U didn’t have to, we have plenty here, but the problem is people want a white child or a child that looks like them, and that becomes difficult to find a match. It usually takes at least 4 years to get approved to adopt, and even then there is no guarantee that the system will provide u with a child. The system is screwed albeit because statistics show that only 1% of children up for adoption actually get a adopted. sad but true. So, trust me if u want to adopt a child, adopt a child but if u really want to adopt a child to love then race, ethnicity, etc really shouldn’t matter really, should it? Your chances of getting a child will go up when u open your search to a child to love not a child that is a spitting image of one self. just saying.

      • stephanie

        i had an abortion about 2 weeks ago, and i’m still not sure how to feel about myself. sometimes i hate myself and my boyfriend, even though he cried that day too. i hate thinking of the reasons why i did it because i wanted to keep it, but it just didnt seem “practical”. i never thought i wouldnt want a baby. at the time my reasons were: 1, neither of us could support a baby and 2, my parents hate him so they would probably kick me out (im 21 but i cant support a baby on my own; i need to graduate college first at least). raising a baby without family and only with the help of the sate/child support checks? or doing what i felt was right and keeping it? i’m still not sure what i really felt is right.
        i dont know what to think.
        but thats just how i feel

      • Vicissitude

        I know this thread is about abortion, but I have to say this about adoption. I believe that part of the reason why there are so many children in the system without homes is due to society and the government. People think that just because a couple has a lot of money, they will be good parents for a child. It’s like that because people worship money. Has anyone ever seen the movie “The Glass House”? The couple seemed to be rich and perfect, but they were actually in debt up to their eyeballs, and had drug problems. My husband and I have been trying for years to get pregnant, without succeeding. We had a miscarriage in 2004, after three years of trying and using clomid; and I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2006. We struggle with the pain of not knowing if we’ll ever be able to conceive again. In the meantime, we’re on the sidelines watching as his younger brother and his wife keep popping out children back to back. I said all this to say that the adoption system is really screwed up, period, but especially in America where the almighty dollar reigns supreme. Two years ago my husband and I made it up in our minds that we WILL be parents. We always knew we wanted to adopt. We even talked about it when we were dating. The problem with adopting: Making $50,000 a year is not the same as $100,000 or more a year. And with all the babies and children in the system in Memphis, you’d think things would be different. We don’t care about the age, sex, or race of the child; we just want to be parents. On another note…It really annoys me that people are saying “you shouldn’t judge people”, but that’s what most of the people on this thread are doing. There is no reason why people should be saying mean and hateful things on here. We’re all adults. We should be able to have a mature discussion, like mature adults, without people getting their feelings hurt and lashing out.

Page: 1 2 3 15
Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject - or we may delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk (*) indicates a required field.

When you click on the "Post Comment" button above to submit your comments, you are indicating your acceptance of and are agreeing to the Terms of Service. You can also read our Privacy Policy.

Latest Videos in TV

From Our Partners

TV Recaps

Powered by WordPress.com VIP