'The Client List' review: Jennifer Love Hewitt shook her money-maker

Jennifer Love Hewitt made the rounds of the talk shows last week, promoting Monday night’s Lifetime TV-movie The Client List, and whether she was on The View or Jimmy Fallon, Hewitt wiggled into her seat with the eagerness of a gal who knows how to sell what she’s got.

Which was also pretty much the entire concept of The Client List. This instant-classic-schlock Lifetime movie — “inspired by a true story,” of course — had Hewitt playing Samantha, a former Texas homecoming queen, mother of three, married to a former local football hero, who falls into prostitution.

Samantha was shown to be a near-saint: a devoted wife and mom who never even got irritated by her mom, who constantly spouted folksy aphorisms such as, “I could eat a buttered monkey!” (Mom was played by Cybill Shepherd using her Last Picture Show drawl.)

But with hubby unemployed, Samantha, a “licensed massage therapist,” sought employment with The Kind Touch Health Spa, a strip mall joint that she was shocked to discover traded in sexual services. But with the gals running the place keeping up lines of peppery dialogue like, “Drinks and Viagra are on the house!” and “The little blue pills keep us in the black!,” it wasn’t long before Samantha was squirting whipped cream down a client’s spine and asking him what else she could do for him. Pretty soon, she was getting $1,000 tips, buying luxury items for her family, and snorting a little cocaine to please her customers and complete that gingerbread house (well, make that a snow-fueled gingerbread castle) for a school fund-raiser.

In the manner of all such Lifetime productions, The Client List managed to offer cheap thrills (see Samantha in an array of revealing costumes!) while offering moral uplift (see Samantha get arrested, atone for her sins, and reconcile with her husband!).

The Client List even offered the Lifetime version of a surprise ending. A group of local women — many of them wives of the “clients” — stormed Samantha’s house. After offering a preemptive apology, Samantha was amazed to discover that they’d arrived not to condemn her but to get some bedroom tips. (“What do you do that we don’t?”)

Even after her Samantha hauled out a banana for instruction time, executive producer Hewitt managed to sell every bit of this malarkey with her talent for communicating sincerity and charm.

Did I mention that Samantha’s employers gave her the nom du massage of “Brandy,” “’cause you look like you go down real smooth.” Oh, my goodness! Truly, The Client List was the little gift that kept on giving.

Did you watch The Client List?

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Comments (84 total) Add your comment
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  • alan sparrow

    jennifer is beautiful

    • waltraud p.warwick

      I wish she would go bach to ghost wisperer with david conrad that was a good program sorry I dit not watch clients list

      • Diane

        CBS cancelled Ghost Whisperer even though it consistantly won the ratings in its spot.

      • Shelia Nixon

        I did watch the movie, but I definitely wish Ghost Whisperer would come back on…that was an awesome show. I didn’t even realize it was cancelld (or I refused to believe it) until it never recorded again on my DVR. Then I had no choice but to accept it…but I still have it set to record just in case!

  • L

    love her! so sad her show was cancelled

    • Kat

      Agree. I loved Ghost Whisperer. I really miss it on Friday nights. I wish her the best of luck with whatever she does :)

      • Joe

        It was doomed for cancelation since the premier of this past season. The kid the picked for Melinda’s child was about the worst child actor I’ve ever seen, not even “cute” or anything. It was unbearable watching any scene with him in it. So disappointing because all the past seasons were fantastic.

      • Rene

        Joe, it wasn’t the cute little actor that killed the show. How aweful to say that. Loved the Client List

    • Darckash

      I know, I know . . .from Ghost Whisperer to P*nis Whisperer.

    • JBL

      She was the producer of Ghost Whisperer. She did it her way. It was clear that her strategy was to focus on the several expensive wardrobe changes. The more revealing the better. She knows what sells.

    • selina

      t’s hard to find a good women in my town ,most of them
      like my money
      more than like me.Ijust want to find my true love.so i uploaded my hot photos on
      (10year gap. 【Co0M】 under the name of amJACK15730.It’s the best club for seeking
      young or old boys
      .if you men see
      this comment,i hope you will check my photos out there.maybe you are the one who
      i’m looking for!!!zz

  • Andrea

    I actually liked it! It was entertaining. What more can a gal expect from Lifetime?

  • Janet

    Looked forward to this movie – could not find it on our DirecTV Lifetime stations ANYWHERE….(Pacific Std Time)

  • Eileen

    Watched it with my sisters. Pretty typical Lifetime…but fun.

  • Scooptress

    Ken Tucker is turning into a very creepy old man.
    The tone of his articles lately is not up to the quality the EW readers have come to expect.

    It had to be said.

    • Eli

      I love the tone of this article

    • Nick T

      I’m with Eli. Lighten up.

    • jenn

      Your kidding right? This movie sucked. It was laughably bad. Ken was right.

  • Nerwen Aldarion

    A good lifetime movie, even more interesting was the true story behind it.

    • taco

      words not commonly seen together – good lifetime movie

  • joeygirl

    I LOVED IT!!! Jennifer Love Hewitt is amazing in ANY role!

  • measha

    I love that show but for me I can remember its was reality in my life except for the kids and husband but the money was great until police drew down on my friends and I no men were processed but I was kind of embarrass now for all the prostitute out there I can’t say stop but be very very careful.

    • Sunshine

      Umm…Measha, are you seriously bragging about being a s..t? Get a real job like the rest of us!

  • tiffany

    when will it come back on i missed it.

    • jake

      Consider yourself lucky.

  • Julie MF

    I Loved “The Client List”. It was very interesting and entertaining. Jennifer Love Hewitt did an amazing job. I love her. She does phenominal in any role :)

  • William

    My partner, Steve, & I, William, watched & enjoyed Lifetime’s The Client List tonight. Everything about the movie was excellent. I have new respect for Jennifer Love Hewitt. She deserves much more work from Hollywood & an emmy. She gave an amazing performance. All I can say is WOW…I LOVED IT!

  • Muffy

    Wait, her husband didn’t know she was Hooker? God, some people are stupid or in a state of denial.

  • George67

    In Phila. Jennifer called in on a morning sports show.The host asked if this movie was worth watching. She replied “I wear a lot of negligees” I wouldn’t have missed it!

  • shannon

    Horrible movie. So sad for Jennifer.

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