As we all know, there’s no new True Blood episode this Labor Day weekend. The season finale is Sept. 13. Read the full post.
Sep 3
2009
11:47 AM ET
Announcement: Write your own 'True Blood' episode!
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Bill and Eric forget about Sookie and have an encounter, resulting in the world’s first male/vampire pregnancy. Sookie, upon learning of this, flies into a rage and chases Bill throught Bon Temps with a silver frying pan.
LOl! Then Eggs and Tara are stunned out of their darkness when they discover that the egg in the bed belongs to Bill and Eric. They’ve been fooling around this whole time.
Eric receives an unexpected visit from Layfette, which surprisingly eases Him after losing Godric – and Eric shows his unbridled gratitude (all nasty and fantastic like). Sookie and Bill, having finally vanquished Mary Ann, get it on in Bill’s cubbyhole – while Jessica sulks in the next room. Tara recovers from recent events by taking up interior decorating; her first task – Sookie’s house. Jason, with a new purpose in life – but still same ‘ol Jason, becomes Bon Temps Police Department’s newest recruit (and scores with Kenya after the first day).
Beeyal rescues Soo-kay from Maryann, which results in the episode grinding to a halt; Jason draws inspiration from Supernatural and shoots Eggs in the face with a shotgun; in an effort to assuage Andy’s loneliness, Sam transforms into a pig; Jessica eats Tara’s mom because she is hungry; tensions rise when Eric beats Sophie-Ann at Yahtzee; Pam buys new pumps.
Bill returns to Bon Temps with no real idea what to do. He finds Jason and Andy right before they enter the den of Maryann, explaining that she’s basically immortal because she thinks she is. Jason and Andy can’t grasp this concept and go in guns blazing.
Meanwhile Eric asks for help from the Queen who gladly gives it after some nice sexytime between the two. She hands him a flashlight and says “Here. You’ll know what to do.” Eric, not knowing what to do, returns to Bon Temps.
Vampire Bill finds Sam and says they have to team up, Sam turns into one of the werewolves from Dog Soldiers and he and Bill go out to beat the crap out of Maryann. They lose, of course.
Eric get’s to town and fixes his hair for a few before going to Maryann’s place. He looks in a window and see’s Eggs sitting on an egg, thinks this odd and wrong, so he kills Eggs with a sexy stare of some sort. Maryann appears and is about to attack Eric when he pulls out the flashlight the Queen gave him.
“What that’s for?” Maryann asks.
“Let’s find out.” Eric says shining the light into the sky.
Suddenly tripwires go off, entangling various blackeyed townsfolk. Stun bombs go off getting any of the townsfolk still up and about, and then smoke fills the area and various painful sounds can be heard. The smoke clears and Eric briefly sees Batman swinging away.
“Wow. He even planned for this.”
Fin.
wow. that, to me, was the best. i was wondering where your flashlight storyline was going, and i must say, it was genius.
LMAO that was awesome xD
Lafayette digs into his new role as Maryanne’s cook by whipping Eggs and the mysterious egg into a Hunter’s Soufflé. Jason loses his shirt while he and Andy attempt a covert operation at the Stackhouse residence, and Andy accidentally napalms the meat tree. Maryanne learns precisely why Dionysus is called the God Who Comes as all Bon Temps gathers for the impromptu cookout. Pam buys a fabulous new pair of pumps. Eric and Bill, acting on an edict from Queen Sophie-Anne, forget all about rescuing Sookie and consummate their love-hate relationship.
bill and sookie discover the way to kill maryann is to run her over, now shes dead all the residents of bon temps have a big party.
godric comes back to life and he, eric, jason and bill dance in shorts for the rest of the episode.
THE END
Bravo! I hope they are gray silk shorts…
Sookie and Eric start a relationship. Bill gets written off the show. The end.
love it!
Lafayette and jason stackhouse kiss
During the ceremony to sacrifice Sookie, Lafayette is pulled out of his ‘possession’ by someone pulling a gun out and firing it.. he sees Maryann as Eric and has to be pulled out of his mirage by Sookie as she gets him to hurry up and rescue her. The egg begins to hatch but before it can, Eric slays Maryann and Jason and Andy smash the egg into an unrecognizable pulp. Eric comes to Sookie’s rescue which causes her to begin the long process of rethinking her relationship with Bill as she starts to realize that her pull to him might have only been due to ingesting his blood, since she seems to be having the same reaction to Eric.
Everyone turns on Maryann, even her minons. And she ends up being the one who gets sacrificed. Eggs and Tara snap out of their trans, and sookie, takes the egg out of the nest and makes Maryann eat it while she is being sacrificed.
Maryann moves in on Sookie, determining that Sookie should be the one sacrificed. Andy is caught by Eggs and ordered to guard Tara’s egg in comical form. Bill & Sam attempt to rescue Sookie, who is now raised on the sacrificial tower and covered in other bloody offerings. Jason, not knowing Sookie’s fate, goes into military mode to rescue Andy from an ever increasingly growing egg.
Sookie is captured by Maryann, who is giddy because she has found her ultimate vessel. She no longer desires Sam as a sacrifice. Bill retrieves Sam and after dropping the kids off at an aunt’s house, they leave to confront Maryann. Jason and Andy reach the house but disgusted by the stench, Jason starts blowing up the meat tree. Lafayette, still under the spell, tackles Jason and ties both him and Andy up (which the two are unfazed by MA’s black eye syndrome). When Bill and Sam arrived, all hell has broken loose. Maryann has decided to sacrifice not one, but three (Sookie, Andy and Jason). A fight ensues between Bill and Maryann but she in this state, wills herself to be more powerful than Bill can handle. She throws him. As it seems that there is no hope. The Queen and Eric fly in. The Queen amused at the anarchy agrees as she promised to Eric, and rids Maryann by giving her what Maryann has most desired. Death. In the last few minutes of the episode, we see that Eric owes the Queen a favor and must abide. She wants Bill for the time being. Eric must deliver Bill. It is then that we learn that Eric did not do this for Sam but his desire to save Sookie. Bill is delivered to the Queen, with Sookie crying in Eric’s arms as her future is uncertain with the man that she loves.
With Sookie emasculating Bill and Eric into neverending Twilighty bed scenes, Sam seeks help from a deceased friend’s demon-hunting, 67′ Impala driving sons, who bring news to all of Bon Tempes that the “God” who comes, has come. Guest Starring Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan.
WH00t!! DEXTER!I bet he could kick a Maenads ass
The God who comes actually makes an appreance after a disraught Eggs stabs himself and falls on the giant Egg. After seeing the distuction of the town of Bon Temps the God decides to take Maryann to wife and while he devours her everyone comes out of their stupor with no knowledge of any wrong doing.
Eric, wary of Bill’s threats to expose his dirty deeds to the Queen, tries to seduce Sophie-Ann and persuade her Bill is too attached to Sookie and the situation needs to be corrected. Bill returns to Bon Temps and senses Sookie’s fear and takes on the town’s people to rescue Sookie. Andy and Jason join Bill. Eric is rebuffed by the lesbian Vampire Queen who has powers to sense relationships and feels that Eric is more attached to Sookie than he is letting on. She sends Eric away only to order her transportation to Bon Temps to meet Sookie in person. Queen Sophie Ann arrives in Bon Temps as the showdown between Bill, Andy and Jason and Mary-Ann and the towns people reaches a fever pitch. Queen Sophie-Ann has brought Were wolves with her. They are snapping and snarling….roll end credits.