Feb 18 2009 02:43 PM ET

'American Idol': Our long national nightmare begins

Categories: Music, Television

Caseycarlson_l
American Idol entered its sing-and-vote stage last night (as if the entire American news media would allow you to forget), and I dutifully tuned in, as I do every year, to see if, by some miracle, Idol has gotten any better. As you recall, I have promised you that this blog occasionally will be a safe haven where you can come to vent your Idol dislike, annoyance, even — dare I say it, lest my gracious, witty colleague Mike Slezak write me out of his will? — hatred.

Nope, no improvements last night. Still, once again, the endless parade of vocalists who over-sing everything, starting with Jackie Tohn’s version of an Elvis Presley hit, “A Little Less Conversation,” during which I think Elvis’ corpse roused itself to retch during her grotesque caterwauling. Casey Carlson, whom I gather from context (sorry, I skipped the audition shows; I have a soul to protect) is one of the show’s designated sexpots, was actually told she shouldn’t have sung “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” because “the Police hits… they’re iconic, you don’t touch them.” Really? Sting-sung music is untouchable for other mere humans??

By the time the two hours circled the drain with Danny Gokey’s tremulous “Hero,” and he was proclaimed the “redeemer of the night” (!!!), I was glad that Simon Cowell said he wasn’t “buying the hype” so far. (Man oh man, some Fox exec must be adding a wad of cash to Randy’s pocket to gush over just about everything; I half-expected him to tell us he was “really feelin’” the boom-microphone operator, dawg.) But I also thought Simon’s grudging, sullen act has become foolish too. There’s only so long you can play the party-pooper without coming off as mere poop.

I know I can just stop watching, but you know how it is: Idol starts to pervade the culture; other shows start to chatter about it incessantly. Celebrities I like, such as Neil Patrick Harris and Ted Danson (oh, how I admire your Arthur Frobisher on Damages, Ted!) show up in the audience.

But does anyone out there share my dread, as the weeks of Idol voting now stretch before us?

Comments (1-30) of 311 Add your comment

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  • Joline

    Life needs passion.
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  • Mrs.P

    Where have all the singers gone?

  • Dwight K Schrute

    American Idol is horrible. Micheal Sleazak has no taste. I love you, Ken Tucker!

  • M

    I am frightened to think of how many more years this piece of crap show will be on. It’s a waste of TV space on a channel that usually has great programming. Please American stop watching American Idol!

  • Tim

    I’m right there with you, this show is horrible, I have to watch b/c my wife is obsessed. Best part of last night is when Simon dissed the past idol contestant Paula was trying to attribute sucess to. They are so deluded they think 4-10 place finishers in past seasons who take 5 years to put out a debut album are stars. This show killed the American music landscape. There is a reason you have garage bands and wedding singers; the answer- so these clowns get a job singing, poorly. I’m blown away every year by the hype. They have 40 friggin contestants which will be about 7 hours this week, including results, to sit through. You spend almost the same time taking a college course per week. Shameful promotions, do you think Coke paid them some money, horribly boring one dimensional hosts (gay man, token black guy, token sullen English man, train wreck and cute judge) and people think this is quality TV, no wonder great shows get cancelled and replaced with game shows and reality garbage.

  • Michelle

    I avoid Idol like the plague. Ugh, the whole thing makes me ill. A huge waste of time, especially when it preempts my scripted shows!

  • Sydney Bristow

    it’s just so sad

  • Lisa

    Hatehatehate American frackin’ Idol and how I can’t escape the endless media coverage of it unless I avoid all newspapers, magazines, and the internet. Bleargh. Thanks for providing a space for us, Ken! I spent last night watching NCIS and an episode of The Wire (I’m halfway through Season 5 now.)

  • Vicky

    The show is just two long! By now, they should have the top 12 singers, voted in by the judges. Done and done. The audience should not get to vote on the top 36. It’s just a big waste of time.

  • William the Thrilliam

    My question is how could they let go some talented singers for the crap that was on stage last night (Jamar anyone?!).
    Idol is like a disease. I don’t really like it, yet here I am talking about it!

  • wendy

    I watched for 1 mintue last night and it was terrible. The singing was terrible and the same ol format. Please make it go away. I watched the scrub repeat instead and will not be watching AI again.

  • K

    I like AI but they are blatantly pimping (more than ever before) their favorite contestants. cough…Danny Gokey…cough. It’s insulting – like the audience can’t figure it out on their own. Now I realized I just opened another can of worms about the viewing public but I like to think we are a smart bunch.

  • Rich

    Right on, Ken. Who watches this anymore? It has been painful for years. I watched the first two seasons – the ones with much less hype – then got really sick of it, really fast. The very notion that tomorrow I’m going to have to see articles about how much Idol beat Lost makes me ill.

  • M Shel

    Hey, If you don’t like it… don’t watch it. It’s escapism from this economic-political mess we wade through every minute of every day. Going brain-dead twice a week is a nice break for many.

  • Snarkyboy

    We need more boobies!

  • Eileen K

    If you hate it, why watch it? Perhap you just like flapping your gums?
    I don’t get people who spent mindless hours watching professional sports and political “talk” shows…
    To each his/her own…

  • Dale

    You all hate it, but you watch it again and again; like it’s ever going to be anything else but crap. Yes, it will continue to run as long as dimented minds like yours watch it and you continue to keep hammering your same complaints about it. You know the definition of insanity: keep doing the same thing that doesn’t work over and over and over again. You’re all insane hipocrites. Stop watching it and it will go away from your cynical minds and you can finally get on with something constructive.

  • Michael

    I am proud to say I have never watched American ‘Idle’. Definition of a ‘reality’ show: Has-been ‘celebrities’, hard up contestants, a waste of precious time.

  • texas

    there is really only 1 good singer out of all these thousands of people but unfortunately we have to sit thru hours of pointless bull to get to that point. Randy’s dog comments are getting really old too. this show needs to go away FOREVER.

  • CHRIS AKE

    THE ONLY REASON I WATCH IS TO AVOID A FIGHT WITH MY WIFE, OTHERWISE I WANT TO “RETCH (PUKE)”

  • AmyK

    I watched every season of Idol except the first one but I think I’ve finally gotten to the end of my rope. Last year, I quit watching the night Michael Johns was voted off and never watched another episode until last night. Needless to say, I’m unimpressed. The show has jumped the proverbial shark big time. Sadly though, I’m sure the show will continue on for years to come, bolstered by ignorant 12 year olds who don’t know any better.

  • Fluor Friend

    I know that Aaron Mitchell in Houston Texas watches and he loves it

  • Rich

    here’s a novel idea…turn of the frakin’ TV and get a life!

  • senda

    I used to like AO and was crazy about Simon. Now he has become such a boring old woman – always whining. He and the show are boring. I seldom watch unless I’m channel flipping.

  • suze

    if only my friends would stop bribing me with booze to watch this drivel with them…

  • fed up & almost over this phenom

    I hated that Ryan spoke w/ the parents after each performance and how the movement from stage to interview area was so poorly choreographed for television. I also disliked all of Paula Abdul’s comments (though, I generally like her). But mostly what I hated was that there was a commercial break after every other singer. We have to go through this 36 times!? There are three weeks of this??!! I was wishing that I could tape the east coast version, skip all the stuff I didn’t want to see and then vote during pacific time. I’m sure I’d cut out at least an hour/hour-and-a-half.

  • fed up & almost over this phenom

    I hated that Ryan spoke w/ the parents after each performance and how the movement from stage to interview area was so poorly choreographed for television. I also disliked all of Paula Abdul’s comments (though, I generally like her). But mostly what I hated was that there was a commercial break after every other singer. We have to go through this 36 times!? There are three weeks of this??!! I was wishing that I could tape the east coast version, skip all the stuff I didn’t want to see and then vote during pacific time. I’m sure I’d cut out at least an hour/hour-and-a-half.

  • fed up & almost over this phenom

    I hated that Ryan spoke w/ the parents after each performance and how the movement from stage to interview area was so poorly choreographed for television. I also disliked all of Paula Abdul’s comments (though, I generally like her). But mostly what I hated was that there was a commercial break after every other singer. We have to go through this 36 times!? There are three weeks of this??!! I was wishing that I could tape the east coast version, skip all the stuff I didn’t want to see and then vote during pacific time. I’m sure I’d cut out at least an hour/hour-and-a-half.

  • beachpup

    Geez, someone needs to get a girlfriend or something. It’s tragic how people seem to fall apart on the live stage after being so good beforehand. Only three were great last night.

  • George Moureau

    stopped watching the show a couple of years ago….

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