Looking ahead to your Sunday TV choices, I’m going to make a small plea: Don’t fall for the latest edition of Celebrity Apprentice (Andrew Dice Clay, really? Khloe Kardashian, really?). Instead, give the new Tom Selleck TV-movie Jesse Stone: Thin Ice a try instead. I gave the movie an A- in the pages of EW, and you can see a preview of it here:

Selleck’s portrayal of a sarcastic, stubborn, in-denial-alcoholic police detective is first-rate. Plus, the guy is still funny, as his appearance earlier this week with Jon Stewart (himself clearly a Selleck fan) proves (about 15 minutes in):

So when Sunday night rolls around, just remember: You do have an alternative to Donald Trump: a good murder mystery. You must agree that Tom Selleck is a more appealling human than the Trumpster, right?

[SPOILER ALERT: DON'T READ NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW] Last night’s Top Chef was a heartbreaker, because the person with so much heart and the person who pretended he had no heart lost to [SPOILER ALERT!] the person whom very few people except maybe Leah hearted.

Carla had begun the season as an eccentric, an oddball (“Hootie! Hootie-hoo!”), a novelty act who seemed destined for a fast exit. As the weeks went on, however, she really started competing and, though that magical way television has of revealing people’s true nature the longer they stay on camera, emerged as a thoughtful, intelligent chef with a good sense of herself. Which made her crucial mistake last night — listening to the suggestions of season-three finalist Casey instead of following her own instincts — all the more frustrating.

As for Stefan, come on: the guy was both the strongest competitor and the season’s best personality. When you can turn the channel after American Idol, away from all those simpering suck-ups trying to please the judges, and see a guy like Stefan working hard, trash-talking, joking with an air of confidence, how could you not be pulling for that guy?

I know you’ll tell me all the reasons, given the way Top Chef is structured, that Stefan didn’t deserve to win because his final meal wasn’t superb, but I persist in thinking the judges should have taken the entire season’s efforts by Stefan into consideration and given him the ultimate prize.

And, oh yeah, since this is my last chance, I’ll just end by saying:

Dear President Obama: PLEASE DEPORT TOBY YOUNG.

Did you think Hosea deserved his win? Who would you have preferred, Stefan or Carla?

More on Top Chef: Top Chef Recap: Hosea takes the title

Howard Zieff, known to fans of TV commercials as the auteur behind such classics as Alka Selzter’s “Mama mia, that’s a spicy meatball” commercial, has died at age 81. Zieff’s 1970 commercial was considered daring at the time, since it was a commercial about the making of a commercial, very meta, and very funny, for the time:

Zieff moved on to make feature films. His New York Times obit mentioned his biggest hit, the 1980 Goldie Hawn showcase Private Benjamin, but failed to cite what was probably his best movie, 1975′s Hearts of the West, starring Jeff Bridges as a young writer of Western novels who goes to Hollywood and becomes a Tinseltown cowboy:

Catch this movie on TV sometime. As always, Zieff liked to take you behind the scenes, give you credit for being smart enough to follow him on his guided tours through show-biz irony, romance, and a jadedness that could be redeemed. He’ll be missed.

As a fan of the G4 network’s daily Attack of the Show!, I usually keep up with what’s going on on that crazy tech/web/comic-book/kooky enterprise. (Ah, “Pie Week”…) But a reader just sent me a link to AOTS co-host Olivia Munn’s guest appearance on Spike Feresten’s show this weekend, in which Munn proclaims she can “do” some of the Oscar-nominated movies “better.” Check it out (warning: implied violence to kitty cat mid-way through):

I’m still baffled by Feresten’s laid-back-to-the-point-of-comatose persona, but Olivia — via the Funnyordie.com folks — proves once again she’s a plucky gal with a nice nutty streak. And thanks, reader, for sending the link. See? I read the mail, even if 375-plus of you disagree with my Oscar review. It’s all part of the “dialogue,” right?

Anyway, what do you think of Olivia and her spoofs?

I suspect the litmus test for last night’s Oscars really boils down to this: if you like big, gaudy production numbers, you had a good time. But if your favorite musical moment was hearing the Hives over the action-movie montage–and that’s the camp I’m in–the telecast was even a bit more tedious than it usually is. Really, except for: James Franco and Seth Rogen’s super-funny Pineapple Expressed take on everything from The Love Guru to The Reader; the plainspoken dignity of Heath Ledger’s family; Man on Wire documentary-subject Philippe Petit performing a little magic trick and balancing the Oscar on his chin; the great film critic Manny Farber getting a shout-out during the salute-to-the-dead montage; the sharp whistle of Kate Winslet’s dad; and that clever Jimmy Kimmel house-on-fire commercial with Tom Cruise — except for those moments, and the victories of Name-Your-Favorite-Winner-Here, it was mostly brassy music and maundering speechifying.

Hugh Jackman seems like a nice guy, but every qualm one might have had about having a non-comedian, song-and-dance-prone host was confirmed. The other momentum-clogging bad idea:

having previous winners make little speech-salutes to each nominee in the big acting categories. They spouted nice sentiments, to be sure, but it frequently seemed awkward for the nominees to have to sit through them, and for us to watch them. Sure, I enjoyed Robert De Niro’s remarks about Sean Penn. But Whoopi Goldberg compelling Amy Adams to smile over the fact that they’ve both played nuns? Not so entertaining. Oh, and making Reese Witherspoon explain what a director is before presenting the best-director Oscar–how dumb do the show’s writers think we are?

I respected the producers’ attempt to disrupt that annual, awful moment when pictures of those who’ve died are shown and the segment becomes a popularity contest to see who’ll get the most applause. But having Queen Latifah sing over the clapping wasn’t the way to do it. Especially since she had to abruptly stop singing and let a clip of Paul Newman play though. Didn’t anyone think that through?

What’s the one thing people complain about when they say, year after year, that the Oscars go on too long? The big production numbers. What was the Oscars stuffed with this year? Big production numbers. Mr. Jackman, I appreciate your effort. But next year, more James Franco — on the big screen and the small screen — please.

More on the Oscars: Stewart, Colbert, Kimmel: Who will make the best Oscar jokes tonight?

Oscars: 13 Best/Worst Moments

Oscars: The View From Backstage

After 16 years, Conan O’Brien concluded his Late Night run last night. Will Ferrell-as-George Bush strolled on to thank O’Brien for years of “humortastical wonderment,” and the host’s former sidekick Andy Richter crowed, “I told you you’d never last without me!” Together, O’Brien and Richter showed us a lengthy number of skits, most memorably Richter’s nude appearance on The Today Show.

There was music: John Mayer wrote an original song that included the lyric, “LA’s gonna eat you alive,” while the White Stripes did a lovely version of “We’re Going To Be Friends.”

Fascinatingly, O’Brien went through a long, gracious list of people he wanted to thank, including producer Lorne Michaels for taking a guy “with no television experience and bad skin” and giving him a show. He spoke fondly and respectfully of Jay Leno, who, Conan said, would “continue to be my lead-in.” But it was David Letterman upon whom he lavished his greatest praise, saying that Letterman “invented this late-night show… it all started with David Letterman.” Clearly, from the cascade of clips, it was Letterman’s sense of the absurd that O’Brien has always keyed into most keenly.

Finally, his voice cracking, Conan assured his audience he would “never grow up” in taking over The Tonight Show. His audience cheered O’Brien’s perpetual adolescence. He’s the cool-cat Peter Pan of late-night.

Did you watch? What did you think?